Out of Time
by unsophistication
Summary: Beca and Chloe have to physically, mentally, and emotionally fight with themselves to make it through a tragedy. Will they be able to hold on or are they out of time? Mainly focusing on Bechloe, but other characters/couples will be included.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I'm planning on this being a multichapter Bechloe fic. It's my first one so hang in there!**

"I mean it's bullshit, right?" Beca asked Emily, as they sat in the recording studio. "She's screwed me over like what, 4 times now? It's like she doesn't even care about our relationship anymore... right? I'm allowed to be pissed about this, aren't I?"

Emily just sat quietly, listening to Beca vent. This wasn't the first time. Ever since graduating from BU and getting a job at a private performing arts school, Chloe has had a lot less time to spend with Beca. And any time they do spend together is usually spent with Chloe's mind preoccupied with things concerning work. In the past months, Chloe has had to cancel plans with Beca on plenty occasions, a couple of those times even being their designated 'date night'.

"We created date night for a reason," Beca continued, "so this exact thing wouldn't happen. I've only ever cancelled date night once and I made it up to her by going all out on a surprise date. I hardly even see her and, yeah of course I'm so proud of her and happy for her, but I wish she would just put in some effort for us. Just us. It's like..." Beca looked up at Emily. "Are you even listening?"

Emily stopped writing in her journal and looked at Beca. "Yes, of course I'm listening to you. I'm just not going to get in the middle of it or take any sides. I love you both and I'm not letting you use me as ammo in one of your fights."

Beca rolled her eyes.

"Listen", Emily continued, "just see what happens tonight! Your date night is supposed to start in like two hours and, as far as I can tell, it's still on. Just because you haven't heard from her, doesn't mean she's canceling on you again."

Beca sat quietly for a moment. She hated the fact that she even cared so much in the first place. It made her feel clingy and annoying, two behaviors she usually despised from people. But Chloe just had that effect on her. She could make her be someone completely different, someone who's lost without their other half, someone better. Plus, she was allowed to care this much. It was them.

"Well, I'll just call her to see what's up", Beca announced after sitting quietly for a few minutes.

Emily gave a reassuring nod and got back to her journal. Beca took out her phone and called Chloe.

"Hey, babe! What's up?" Chloe answered her phone.

Beca couldn't help but smile at the sound of her voice. "Hey I was checking to make sure we're still on for tonight. I was thinking we-"

"Oh my gosh," Chloe cut her off, "I'm so sorry, Becs, I have so much work to do and I got so wrapped up in it and-"

Beca stopped listening, as she's heard the excuses plenty of times before. She could feel the anger rising inside of her, her cheeks instantly burning and her palms getting sweaty. "You know what, just save your excuses this time," Beca's voice began to rise. "I'm so sick of you forgetting about me and forgetting about us. I know you love your job but guess what? I love mine too but that's never stopped me from always putting you first. It would be nice for you to do the same every now and then for me. We haven't spent any one-on-one time in months, Chlo, and it's like you don't even care or maybe you just haven't even noticed but either way it's really shitty. If this were the other way around maybe you wouldn't be so mad at me, but you would definitely be hurt, Chloe! Do you realize that? It hurts when you fucking just forget about our plans and our date nights. A stupid thing that you came up with, by the way! And-"

"Beca, I'm sorry I was just-"

"No! I don't want to hear it. I'm done." And with that, Beca hung up on her.

"Beca, wait!" But she had already hung up.

Chloe put her phone down on their end table and sat on the couch rubbing her face in frustration. She looked around at her and Beca's apartment that she spent hours cleaning and then decorating with rose pedals, placing candles everywhere, and getting all of Beca's favorite things together.

"So much for a surprise." Chloe thought to herself.

She started mentally yelling at herself. No shit, this was a dumb idea! After repeatedly canceling on her girlfriend, why did she think pretending to cancel again was a good idea? She could've just let Beca come home and surprised her in a normal person way but instead she wanted to make a big production out of it. Well, that sure as hell backfired. Upsetting Beca was the last she wanted to do. She knew she had been disappointing her a lot lately, even though Beca tried to mask it. This was her chance to make it up to her and she blew it. She knew Beca wouldn't be coming home anytime soon now that she was mad at her, so she tried calling her again.

Beca turned her phone off. She couldn't believe her girlfriend would do this to her again. She didn't know if she was more hurt or angry at this point. Wait, yes she did. Angry, definitely more angry. Or that's what she told herself, at least.

Emily had put her journal away and was giving her full attention to Beca now. "No, you definitely have every right to be upset. I know I said I didn't want to pick sides but I'm with you on this one. I'm sorry, Beca." She knew doing anything but agreeing with Beca would only make things worse.

Beca let out a frustrated groan, not knowing what to do. She didn't want to go home and just sit there alone, waiting for Chloe to get home from work so they could fight more. She knew hanging up on her was a dick move, but she figured canceling was a dick move too, so oh well. She could stay here, but she knew Emily had plans and if Beca stayed, Emily would cancel her plans to stay with her. She closed her eyes and let out a deep sigh before looking at Emily.

"It's just unfair. Why do I feel guilty? I'm not the bad guy here. I'm not the one who's constantly hurting the girl I love. I get that sometimes she can't help how much work she has but she just gets so devoted to the things she takes on that it consumes her entire life..." Beca sighed again and continued quietly, "which is one of the reasons I love her."

Emily gave her a small smile as Beca let out another frustrated groan.

"Maybe you should try talking with her when she gets home from work. It probably won't be very pretty but there are things you clearly need to say to her. And I'm sure she has some stuff she wants to say to you, things you might not want to hear. But it seems like everything needs to be put out there and said before you guys can actually work it out."

Beca stared at Emily for a second. "It's annoying how good you are with your words. Can you go fight with her in my place?" she said jokingly, but also seriously, before taking a deep breath. "But you're right, kid."

Beca stood, gathered her things, hugged Emily goodbye, and headed home.

After Beca's phone went straight to voicemail, Chloe's guilt turned into panic. She didn't want her stupidity ruining Beca's night, or worse their entire relationship. Beca said she was done. Did that mean done with the conversation or done with Chloe, altogether? She started calling their friends to see if they had heard from Beca as she grabbed her car keys and headed out the door in search of her to work things out.

After driving around and going to some of Beca's favorite places to unwind, there was no sign of her. She had been looking for about 15 minutes when her phone rang and she saw that Emily was calling her back.

"Hey, Chloe, sorry I missed your call! I was writing and had my phone was on silent. Is everything okay?"

"Maybe, I don't know yet. Are you with Beca?"

"Oh, no she left like 15 minutes ago to head home. She was pretty mad though so be prepared when you get home."

Chloe pulled off to the side of the road when she heard Emily say that Beca had gone home. "I know, Em. I wasn't actually canceling on her this time, I just wanted her to think I was so I could surprise her when she got home. I had this whole romantic night planned and I ruined it. In fact, I probably ruined everything. I'm out looking for her now, but I'll head home too."

"Ohhhh. Yeah you probably should've taken a different approach with the whole surprise thing... But she probably won't be mad anymore, right? That's a good thing!" Emily always tried to put an optimistic spin on things.

"Yeah, well I realize that now!" Chloe sighed. "We'll see if she's still mad, though. Thanks, Em." Chloe hung up the phone a little relieved knowing Beca was probably home by now, but now she was stressed for other reasons. Even though she didn't actually cancel on her, Beca was still right about everything she said and Chloe knew there was probably still some fighting waiting for her at home. With that occupying her thoughts, Chloe made a U-turn out onto the road to head home. But just as she was halfway out into the road, a truck seemed to appear out of nowhere, crashing directly into her car.

Beca turned the key in their apartment door, her mind preoccupied with all the things she wanted to say to Chloe. It wasn't until she had stepped inside, closed the door, and turned around that she saw what her girlfriend had done for her. Their apartment looked beautiful. It was actually cleaned up, for starters, but there were bright red rose pedals spread everywhere. Candles were placed everywhere, ready to be lit. Beca couldn't help but notice the Easy Mac box on the kitchen counter next to her favorite candy and a bottle of wine. A small smile crept on her face.

"Chloe?" She called out, but didn't hear a response. She went in their room in search of her. "Babe?" She paused, "Chlo, are you home?" With no sign of her, Beca figured she left to go get something else for their night. She tried calling her cellphone, but there was no answer. That was odd, but then again the last time they spoke, Beca was yelling at her, so she didn't blame her for not answering. Especially since she was secretly going to so much trouble just for her.

After about another 25 minutes, Beca's phone rang and she saw it was Chloe calling.

She answered. "Babe! Where are you? I'm home and-"

"Hello, is this Beca Mitchell?" An unfamiliar man's voice asked.

"Um.. Yes. Who is this?" Beca asked, confused.

"You're listed as Ms. Beale's emergency contact. My name is Officer Fulton. I'm afraid there's been an accident. We need you to come to the hospital."

Beca felt pure panic rip through her. Her face went pale, her stomach knotted, and she broke into a nervous sweat. In an instant, she had her keys in her hand and was out the door.

 **A/N: I hope you guys are interested! Please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: So this is a bit long, so I'm sorry! But I felt like the story needed to include these moments. So, enjoy!**

Beca rushed to the hospital as fast as she could. She didn't know what to think or how to feel. All she was told was that there was an accident. Was Chloe dead? She couldn't be. They don't call when someone dies, right? They show up on your doorstep to deliver the bad news, didn't they? That's what happened in the movies. So, with that reasoning, she had to be alive. They wouldn't make her come all the way to the hospital just to tell her that her loved one has died. But what if they were calling her down to identify the body? They obviously had her ID but doesn't someone still have to identify the body? Oh, God. What the hell happened?

Beca didn't know where to go once she got there. She figured her best shot would be the Emergency Room so she headed straight there. What was she supposed to say? "Hi, I'm here for Chloe Beale. I dont know if she's dead or not but I was asked to come here"? She hated hospitals. She felt a knot in her stomach as she approached the reception desk.

"Um.. Hi, my name is Beca Mitchell. I was called to come down here for Chloe Beale. I was told there was an accident but I don't know what happened or where she is or anything but-", she trailed off.

The woman behind the counter could see that Beca was in a panic and flashed a gentle smile at her. "Hi, Ms. Mitchell. A doctor will be out to speak with you soon. You can have a seat until then. The police are just over there and I think they wanted to ask you some questions, if you're up to it."

Beca looked in the direction the woman pointed to and saw the police. Questions? Why do they need to ask her any questions if she wasn't even there? Beca didn't have time to decide if she was up to answering questions though, as one of the officers saw Beca and the woman behind the desk looking their way. He approached Beca.

"Ms. Mitchell?"

She nodded. "It's Beca. What's going on? Where is Chloe?" Beca searched the man's face, trying to read any expression he might be giving off, but she got nothing aside from a small nod from the man.

"Ms. Mitchell…Beca. I'm Officer Fulton, I spoke briefly with you on the phone. Your friend was in an accident and we just have a few questions for you about her."

Beca stared at the man before the realization hit. Why would they need to be asking Beca about Chloe, when they're well aware that Beca wasn't there. They know she doesn't know what happened. The only people that could know what happened are the other driver and Chloe, so why aren't they asking the people who were there? Beca started to feel like she couldn't breathe. The only reason they would be asking her and not the people involved had to be because the people involved were dead. She looked the officer in the eye and tried to use the steadiest voice her body would allow.

"She's dead, isn't she?" Beca could feel the hot tears forming in her eyes. "That's why no one is telling me anything, huh? That's why I'm the one you need to answer your questions? Because Chloe was killed and you want to ask me what exactly?" She felt herself getting angry with the audacity of this officer. "Do you want to know if she was drinking? Was she a reckless driver? Is there any family that you can notify? Is that what it is?" Beca was shaking now, with a tears rolling down her cheeks. She couldn't seem to catch her breath and her chest felt tight while her vision had gone blurry.

The woman from behind the desk was now on the same side as Beca and gently placed her hands on Beca's arms to help steady her. She and the officer walked Beca over to a chair and had her sit down. The officer sat next to her and the woman returned to the reception desk after the officer assured it that he could handle it.

It took Beca about half an hour to calm down and in that time she had gotten some answers. A doctor came out and spoke with her and let her know, most importantly, that Chloe is alive. She's in surgery and has a lot of serious injuries, but she is not dead. After hearing that Chloe still had a fighting chance, it was easier for Beca to calm down. The officer informed her that the accident was a T-bone accident on the driver side and that Chloe was unconscious when they arrived on scene. She was rushed here and has been in surgery ever since. Beca could feel more tears welling up when she thought about the pain and fear Chloe must've felt during it all. She couldn't help but wonder, where was Chloe even going? The way their apartment was set up, it seemed like Chloe should've been home waiting for Beca to get there. Why wasn't she home? After Beca answered some questions for the officer, he let her be.

Hours had gone by and Chloe was still in surgery. By now, Beca was surrounded by their friends. Not long after talking with Officer Fulton, Beca had called Aubrey to tell her what had happened. On Aubrey's way to the hospital, she called their other close friends to let them know what had happened and to save Beca the heartache of having to repeatedly tell the story. Now at the hospital was most of the Bellas that were still living close enough to rush over.

Beca sat quietly, staring at the floor and thinking about nothing. Her friends were engaged in quiet conversations and tried to get her involved, but she felt numb and barely even heard what they were saying. Aubrey came back over to the group after talking with a nurse.

"They still don't have an update for us," she said sitting across from Beca.

"They always say no news is good news, though," Emily chimed in, trying to help break the tension that was obviously being felt by everyone there.

A couple girls nodded in agreement, although none of them were sure if that saying actually applied to situations like this.

"I still can't believe this happened. I was talking to her not even ten minutes before." Stacie quietly said to Amy.

This caught Beca's attention. "Wait, what? You were talked to her right before?"

Beca was only expecting a response from Stacie, but she got nods from almost all of the girls there. She looked around at them all with a confused expression, waiting for someone to speak up.

"Okay, well why?" Beca finally asked after no one volunteered any more information. "Why did she call all of you? What was she doing out, instead of waiting at home?"

No one wanted to answer. They didn't even want to make eye contact. They knew the truth could make it sound like it was Beca's fault, although none of them actually thought that it was. Blaming herself was the last thing Beca needed to do right now. After moments of complete silence, Emily finally shot a glance Beca's way. Beca raised her eyebrows, as if to ask Emily, "well?"

Emily took a deep breath. "Beca", she was looking for the right words to say. "Okay, you know how two kinda had a disagreement before you went home?" Beca nodded and waited for Emily to go on. She continued, "well Chloe was actually at home when all of that happened and after you guys got into it she was worried about you and your guys' relationship and she didn't think you would be coming home anytime soon so", Emily paused to give Beca a moment to process where she was going with this. She finally went on, "she was out trying to find you to try to make things up, Beca."

Beca finally realized what Emily was saying. Chloe was out driving because of _her_. If she hadn't gotten so mad and been such a bitch or if she had just listened to what Chloe was trying to say on the phone, none of this would have ever happened. Chloe wouldn't be fighting for her life right now if Beca had maybe just stayed on the phone with her for a couple more seconds, if she had just listened. This was all her fault. Chloe was probably going to die now because of her. Beca had totally forgotten about the fight, but now that she was thinking of it, she realized the last thing she said to Chloe was "I'm done ". That was going to be the last thing she ever said to her and it was her own damn fault. She caused all of this.

The rest of the girls were watching Beca, waiting for her to react. They could all see on her face that she was thinking through everything she had just heard. They all shot looked around at each other, not really knowing what to say.

It was Aubrey who finally spoke up, but she didn't say much before Beca interrupted her.

"Beca, I know what you're thinking, but you have to know this is not your fault. Chloe was-"

"She was looking for me, Aubrey!" Beca cut her off, her voice rising and tears filling her eyes. "That's the only reason she was in that spot when she was! There's no other way to spin it, okay? If it wasn't for me, she wouldn't be here right now!" Beca buried her face in her hands and began to sob.

Emily, who was sitting next to her, tried to give her a reassuring touch, but Beca shook it off. She stood up and headed straight for the doors, covering her mouth with her hand to try to muffle her sobs. She needed to be alone. She needed some air. Once she was outside, she only began to cry harder. She leaned back against the wall, not being able to hold herself up any longer. She slid down the wall until she was in a crouching position and cried into her hands.

Inside, the rest of the girls sat quietly. Emily was the first to speak up. "Should someone go be with her out there?"

Aubrey took a deep breath and stood up. "I'll try talking to her", she announced before she headed in the direction Beca left in.

After a quick glance around outside, Aubrey spotted Beca sitting up against the wall, still extremely upset. She approached her slowly and sat down next to her without saying anything. It was odd seeing the brunette show this much emotion without caring who was around. Beca was rarely emotional in public and Aubrey had never seen it to this extent. She found herself wondering if Beca had ever had to feel this way before. She sat silently next to her for a few minutes while she cried. She wasn't staying quiet because she didn't know what to say, but because she knew that there wasn't anything she could say that would make Beca feel any better. She figured it would just be best to provide some company and let Beca know she wasn't alone.

After sitting there crying next to Aubrey for awhile, Beca finally calmed herself down. There were a few tears still falling but she wasn't sobbing or shaking as much. She stared straight ahead and finally spoke, "I'm fine, Aubrey. You can go back inside."

Aubrey answered without thinking, "I'm not just out here for you. I needed some fresh air, too."

Beca wiped her tears away and ran her hands through her hair taking a deep breath. She didn't know if Aubrey was just saying that to try to make her feel better or if she meant it, but she decided she didn't really care. She looked up at the stars and noticed for the first time what a beautiful night it was. She let out a small laugh as she closed her eyes.

"What?" Aubrey asked.

"Isn't it supposed to be raining and dreary outside when these things happen?" She opened her eyes again, looking back up to the sky. "This is the nicest night we've had all year. Chloe would love it." She turned away from the sky and toward the ground.

Aubrey stayed quiet for a moment before turning to Beca. "This isn't your fault, Beca." She could see Beca was about to cut her off to argue, but she kept talking. "This was an accident. Things happen. I don't know why they do but they just do. You didn't cause this. The only way you could blame yourself was if you purposely drove a car into her, and I'm pretty sure that's not what happened, okay? It was an accident. You know it was an accident. This isn't your fault." While talking, she had linked her arm with Beca's.

Beca closed her eyes to fight back the new wave of tears that she felt coming on. She appreciated Aubrey's words, but there wasn't anything that could make her feel any less guilty. This time, there were more than tears. She quickly stood up and took a few steps over to the plants that weren't far from where they had been sitting. She pulled her hair back and leaned over as she threw up. Aubrey was right behind her, rubbing her back. When everything she had in her was finally out, Beca spit a couple of extra times before standing up straight.

"You okay?" Aubrey asked with genuine concern.

Before she could answer, Emily came rushing outside. "Beca, Chloe's doctor is out. He wants to talk to you."

Beca felt her stomach tighten and was sure she would've thrown up again if she had anything left in her. She looked at Aubrey, who gave her a small smile to encourage her. She linked her arm with Beca's again and Beca was actually grateful for it because she wasn't sure if she would've been able to get herself to walk inside on her own. Arm and arm, they followed Emily back inside.

 **I hope you guys enjoyed! Stay tuned!**


	3. Chapter 3

All of the girls were standing with Chloe's surgeon, Dr. Edwards, as they waited for Emily to return with Beca and Aubrey. The three girls walked in, Aubrey still holding onto Beca. They were greeted with gentle smiles as they approached the rest of the group.

Dr. Edwards greeted them and proceeded with updating them on Chloe, "She's out of surgery, but she isn't awake yet. We don't expect her to be waking up anytime soon. We're not sure quite how long it will take as she's suffered many serious injuries, which I'm sure you can all imagine. The best news I can offer you is that she seems to be stable for the time being. We currently have her in the ICU so we can keep a close eye on her. Even though we think her prognosis might look alright for now, I want you to be very cautious about letting your hopes get too high." He was looking directly at Beca now. He continued, "She isn't able to breathe on her own yet and the left side of her body took a majority of the impact and is in pretty bad shape. Something you also need to keep in mind is Chloe hit her head very hard on impact. Fortunately, the damage wasn't as bad as it could've been. Her skull did fracture, though, and she has a pretty bad concussion. We won't know the true extent of the damage until she wakes up."

He seemed to be done giving them information, so Aubrey spoke up, "Can we see her?"

He nodded. "Not all at once, though. If you girls have any questions, feel free to ask the nurses or myself."

With that, he was gone and a nurse showed them the way to Chloe's room. On the way to her room, the nurse filled them in on some of the specifics on Chloe's injuries. The accident left her with a herniated disk, her left shoulder had been dislocated, her collar bone snapped, and she had a couple of broken ribs. Her left hip had been dislocated and her left leg was fractured in multiple places, with a couple of torn muscles in her knee. All of this was of course in addition to her fractured skull, concussion, and not being able to breathe on her own. The nurse reminded them again to not all go in at once before she turned and let them be.

"Do you want one of us to go in with you or do you want to go alone?" Emily asked, turning to look at Beca.

Beca had stayed silent the whole time Dr. Edwards was speaking with them and on the way to Chloe's room. She was relieved that Chloe was out of surgery and seemed to be stable, but Dr. Edwards made it very clear not to get their hopes up and this scared her. He made it apparent that she wasn't out of the woods yet. If Chloe's own surgeon wasn't feeling optimistic, she shouldn't let herself be either. She took a deep breath and shook her head.

"I don't know,' she finally announced, staring at Chloe's door.

"Why don't you go in on your own first? We'll be right out here and I'll come in after a few minutes too." Aubrey suggested.

Beca turned her focus to Aubrey and stared at her, unsure if she was able to face what was waiting behind that door on her own. But Aubrey was giving her a look that told her she would probably want to be on her own when she first went in. Finally, Beca nodded before turning to face the door. They all watched her as she took a deep breath and disappeared inside, closing the door behind her.

Beca wasn't sure what she was expecting to see when she turned around from closing the door, but she definitely was not expecting the sight that lay before her. The sight of this version of Chloe instantly brought tears to Beca's eyes as she covered her mouth with her hand in shock.

"Oh my God," she whispered as she slowly moved closer to the girl she could hardly recognize.

Beca always thought the term "heart break" was just an expression, but as she looked at Chloe she felt like she could actually feel her heart shattering inside her chest. Chloe lay seemingly lifeless in the small bed. She looked so small and helpless. She had a tube coming out of the side of her mouth that was breathing for her. Beca watched Chloe's chest rise and fall in time with the machine that was keeping her alive. Her head was bandaged and her face was covered in stitched up cuts that Beca assumed were from shattered glass. Along with the cuts, the majority of the left side of her face was horribly bruised. Beca felt the tears rolling down her face as she studied Chloe. Her left arm was bruised so badly it was more purple than it was the actual color of Chloe's skin and it was being held in a sling. Her left leg was in a cast and being held elevated. Beca couldn't help but wonder if Chloe was covered in bruises and cuts under the hospital gown too.

Chloe didn't deserve any of this. No one does, but especially not her Chloe. Beca shut her eyes tight, trying to fight back the tears and sobs that were threatening to erupt from her. She kept her eyes shut, hoping that when she opened them none of this would be real. But it was and it was too much for her to handle. She moved to the right side of Chloe's bed and pulled a chair up next to her broken girlfriend. She took Chloe's hand in hers and brought her forehead down to it, resting it on the side of the bed. She couldn't fight back the emotions anymore. They all came crashing down on her at once and resulted in uncontrollable sobbing. She was so angry at the world for making this happen to Chloe, of all people. She was even angrier at herself for putting Chloe in this position in the first place. She wished and prayed that she could switch places with Chloe, that she could take all of Chloe's pain away or that she could just feel the pain for her. She would do anything for this to be possible.

She cried against Chloe's hand before gently kissing it. She sat up and stared at her girlfriend's face, still crying and not daring to let go of her hand.

"Chloe, I'm so sorry," she managed to whisper before her body overtook her ability to speak with more sobbing. She rested her forehead back on Chloe's hand, crying harder than she ever knew she could. "I'm sorry, baby, I'm so sorry. This is all my fault, I'm so sorry." Beca just kept repeating this until Aubrey finally came in.

She knocked on the door quietly before entering. The sight of Chloe's condition had the same effect on Aubrey. Her hands covered her mouth and tears instantly began to fall. Seeing her best friend look so broken was too much for her. The sight and sound Beca so distraught and apologizing only made it that much worse.

Beca looked up at Aubrey, tears still pouring from her eyes.

Aubrey's tear-filled eyes met Beca's and all she could get herself to say was, "oh my God."

She moved toward the side of Chloe that Beca was on. Beca stood up and Aubrey wrapped her arms around her, hugging her tight. The two girls stood embraced, silently crying, for a few minutes. Beca eventually pulled back, wiping her tears. Leaving Chloe was the last thing she wanted to do, even if she was just going to be standing right outside the door. But Beca knew she should allow Aubrey some time alone with her best friend and any of the other girls who wanted to see Chloe.

"I'll give you some time with her," Beca said quietly. She turned to Chloe, leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek before walking over to the door and stepping out.

The rest of the girls were silent when Beca came out. She closed Chloe's door behind her, leaned back against it and closed her eyes. She took a deep, shaky breath before standing up straight. She thought she had gotten herself under control, but when her eyes landed on Emily's, she felt more hot tears welling up. Emily reached out and pulled Beca into a hug.

"It's so bad." Beca said in the saddest voice any of the girls had ever heard.

They all took a turn hugging her. Under normal circumstances, all of the hugging and physical touching would probably make Beca a little uncomfortable. But this was a far cry from a normal circumstance, so Beca welcomed their attempts at comforting her. She knew she wasn't the only one who was upset and suddenly felt bad for letting them focus on her so much. As she looked around at her friends, she could see the pain and fear that they were all feeling. She ran her hand through her hair as Stacie spoke up.

"We were talking while you were in there and we decided that we don't all need to go in." She said to Beca.

This made Beca feel a little relieved, although she wasn't completely sure why. She nodded, "That's probably for the best. Chloe wouldn't want everyone seeing her like that. And honestly I don't think you want to see her this way." As Beca said this, she knew that the image of Chloe was going to stay with her for a very long time.

The girls nodded in agreement, but Emily pulled Beca aside.

"I was thinking I would go in and see her. Is that okay? Would you rather I didn't?" She asked, searching Beca's face.

"Yeah, of course you can see her, Em." As Beca said this, she noticed the nervous look Emily had on her face. She wasn't surprised that Emily would want to go in. She and Chloe had gotten close in the relatively short time that they had known each other, just like she and Beca had gotten close. "You don't have to go in if you don't want to, though. You know that, right? It won't hurt her feelings if it's too much." Beca was trying to reassure her, to give her an escape if she felt like she needed one.

Emily considered it. She would never admit it to Beca, but the real reason she felt like she needed to go in was in case it was the last chance she would get to see Chloe. She knew it was horrible to think this way and she didn't know why the thought was lingering in her head, but she couldn't help it. There was a voice that kept asking her, "What if this is your only chance to say goodbye?" Emily hoped and prayed that this wasn't the case, but she didn't want to risk not seeing her if there wouldn't be another chance.

Finally, she shook her head. "I'll be fine," she told Beca. "I want to see her."

Beca knew how caring and somewhat sensitive Emily was and the thought of her seeing Chloe made Beca feel uneasy. Beca had become sort of protective over Emily, although she wasn't really sure why. Maybe it was because she was her youngest friend or maybe because she was so sweet and innocent that she just seemed like she was in need of protection. Whatever the case, Beca was concerned for her, but she wasn't going to stop her. She nodded and placed a reassuring hand on Emily's arm.

They walked back over to the group just as Aubrey was coming out of Chloe's room. Beca could see that Aubrey must have broken down once she was alone with Chloe because her eyes were now much more swollen and red than they were when she first entered the room.

Aubrey offered up a small, but sad smile to the girls before speaking."Beca, before I came in there with you, Emily and I decided that we're going to go to your place and get some of your stuff for you so you can stay here. Will that be okay with you?"

Beca nodded, feeling so grateful for her friends. She handed Aubrey her keys.

"Yeah, we'll go in a minute. I'm just gonna see Chloe first." Emily announced.

Aubrey looked at Beca with her eyebrows slightly raised as if she was asking her if that was a good idea. Beca offered a quick nod, and with that Emily went into Chloe's room.

As they waited for Emily, the rest of the girls decided they would start to head home. It was late and they were all exhausted from the emotional night and knew the next few days wouldn't be much better. They said their goodbyes and Beca thanked them all for being there.

Beca and Aubrey were the only ones waiting outside of the room when Emily returned, tears streaming down her face. Beca and Aubrey both moved in and hugged her, tearing up themselves. The girls stood there embraced for a few moments before letting go.

"Ready?" Aubrey asked Emily, who took a deep breath and nodded in response.

"Please be careful." Beca said to the two of them before they left.

With all of the other girls now gone, Beca returned to Chloe's room. She went and sat back down in the chair she was in earlier and took Chloe's hand in her own. Although Chloe was laying not even a foot away from her, Beca had never felt more alone in her entire life.

 **A/N: Let me know if you guys think the chapters are too long! I can always cut them in half and post them two at a time, instead of one long one if their length bothers you guys. I hope you liked it!**


	4. Chapter 4

Beca sat next to Chloe, staring at Chloe's hand that she was holding in her own. She was absent-mindedly stroking it with her thumb and found herself wondering. Could Chloe feel anything? Could she feel Beca's hand holding hers or her lips whenever she lightly kissed her? If she could feel things, did that also mean she was feeling any pain from her condition? Beca wanted Chloe to be able to feel her, to know that Beca was there and that she wasn't alone, but the last thing she wanted was for her to be feeling any pain. Was she conscious at all? Could she hear Beca? Was she dreaming or was there just complete blackness behind her closed eyelids?

Beca tried not to think about any of this. She hoped that whatever state Chloe was in, that it was a peaceful one. The thought of it being anything other than that was too overwhelming for her to even try to imagine. Trying to force herself to think of other things, Beca started replaying her last conversation with Chloe in her head:

" _I'm so sick of you forgetting about me and forgetting about us."_

" _I always put you first. It would be nice for you to do the same every now and then for me_."

" _It hurts when you fucking just forget about our plans and our date nights. A stupid thing that you came up with, by the way_."

" _I don't want to hear it. I'm done_."

Beca closed her eyes as a few tears fell down her cheeks. The memory of the words she said made her chest ache. She would do anything to take them back. She felt horrible for being so mean to Chloe, she had no right to speak to her that way. It didn't matter if she was hurt, she shouldn't have been such a selfish bitch. And now the universe was using Chloe to punish her.

She remembered Chloe's words before she hung up on her:

" _Beca, I'm sorry I was just-_ "

Oh, God. Beca covered her mouth with her free hand, keeping her eyes closed. Why the hell did she hang up on her? Chloe was probably just about to tell her that she was kidding about forgetting their plans, that she was at home waiting for Beca. What the hell did she do?

Beca suddenly rose and stepped back from Chloe. She ran her hands through her hair, feeling furious with herself. She felt her body getting hot and more tears coming on. What had she done? Her stubbornness, her impatience, her horrible-person self put Chloe in the hospital. It didn't matter that Beca wasn't the one who physically rammed Chloe with a truck, she felt like this could not be any more of her fault. If she had just given her girlfriend a few more seconds of her time, if she had just had the decency to let her finish what she saying, to hear her out, Chloe wouldn't be lying here broken.

Beca hated herself. She felt the room start to spin, so she sat on the floor with her back against the wall. She felt too guilty to get any closer to Chloe. She didn't deserve to be near her. Beca rested her elbows on her knees and held her head in her hands.

Once the room had stopped spinning, Beca realized how exhausted she was. She felt herself falling asleep right there on the floor. She didn't want to sleep, though. She not only wanted to be awake in case anything happened with Chloe, but she feared whatever might haunt her in her dreams if she allowed herself to doze off.

Beca was about to stand up when a nurse walked in. She was a short, middle-aged woman with long black hair that was pulled back. She offered a friendly smile to Beca, who remained seated on the floor.

"Hi, sweetie. I'm Linda. I'm just here to check on Chloe." She looked at Beca with a slightly concerned look on her face. "Are you alright, sweetie? Do you need anything?"

Beca shook her head and tried to will herself to smile. "I'm Beca. I'm okay. Do you need me to step out? Am I in your way?"

"No, no. You can stay. This won't take long." She spoke with a kind voice as she moved toward Chloe, checking her monitors and fluids. "You know you can sit in the chair, right? They're not great, but I hear they're a step up from the floor."

Beca smiled a little and rose from the floor. "Does everything seem okay with her?"

Linda was writing something down and nodded. "Nothing too out of the ordinary, considering the circumstances. If she makes it through the next 24 hours, roughly, without any complications, you should be able to breathe a little easier." She glanced up at Beca to see her slightly nodding, staring at the floor. "So who is Chloe to you?"

"Oh," Beca looked up at the nurse, "she's my girlfriend. Tonight was supposed to be a date night. Pretty romantic, huh?"

"I'm sure there have been worse dates." She smiled over at Beca. "How long have you two been together?" She was shining a light in Chloe's eyes now, checking to make sure her pupils reacted.

Beca bit her lip as she watched her. The sight made her feel uneasy. "Well, we've known each other for a little over five years now, but we've been dating for about a year. A little bit longer than that actually."

Linda nodded, jotting something else down on Chloe's chart. "What took so long?"

"I'm sorry?" Beca asked, confused as to what the nurse was asking her.

"For you two to get together." She smiled at Beca again. "Why did it take you so long to start dating?"

Beca felt herself smiling a little now. "Uh, I don't really know. It was kinda complicated. There were other people involved and we had a sorta unusual friendship to start off with. But there was always something between us. It just took us awhile to realize it and then a little longer to act on it."

Linda offered Beca a smirk and Beca let out a small laugh. She liked this nurse.

"Well everything seems to be okay right now. Someone will be in here in a bit to check on her again. If you need anything, let one of us know, okay?"

Beca nodded. "Thank you."

She flashed Beca a smile before leaving.

Beca returned to the chair and sat down in it. She leaned forward and rested her head on Chloe's bed. Her tiredness had finally beaten her and within moments, she was asleep.

She was back at home with Chloe. They were sharing an easy-going, calm night in and had been binge watching Netflix. These kinds of nights were some of Beca's favorites. She loved being able to cuddle up to her girlfriend in their bed, talking about nothing of any importance, joking about stupid things. It was simple nights like these that Beca and Chloe both treasured.

Chloe groaned. "Babe, I'm starving." She looked at Beca with wide, pleading, puppy dog eyes.

Beca couldn't help but let out a small laugh. "And what am I supposed to do about that?"

Chloe snuggled up to Beca's side, trying to sweeten her up so she could get her way. "Would it be too much trouble for you to, I don't know, maybe, possibly go make us something?"

Beca's smile remained on her face. She knew exactly what Chloe was doing, even though it wasn't necessary. Beca would do pretty much anything Chloe asked her to. But she liked to pretend to put up some resistance sometimes.

Beca stretched and closed her eyes. "I don't know, babe, I'm pretty comfortable right now. I'm gonna need a little convincing."

Chloe's head was by Beca's shoulder and she tilted her head up with a smile to look at Beca. She placed a soft kiss on the corner of Beca's mouth, gently dragging her lips over to Beca's jaw and up to her ear. "Please, baby?" She said this softly. "I'll make it worth it." This came out as more of a purr.

This sent chills all over Beca. She was at the complete mercy of the girl lying beside her and she loved it. "Well how could I say no to that?" She asked as she rolled over, positioning herself above Chloe.

"You really can't," Chloe giggled.

Beca smirked down at her before pressing their lips together. The kiss quickly deepened, Chloe sliding her hands onto Beca's hips. Beca kissed her way over to Chloe's neck, sucking on her pulse point.

Chloe let out a small gasp. "Why did you do this to me?" Beca heard her ask.

"Do what, baby?" Beca asked absent-mindedly, her lips remaining on Chloe's neck.

As she asked this, she felt a warm wetness on her hand that she had near Chloe's head to hold herself up. Beca pulled herself away from Chloe's neck for a moment to look at what her hand was sitting in. What she saw made her instantly jump back and stare at Chloe. The wetness on Beca's hand was from a puddle of blood that was coming from the side of Chloe's head that now had a huge gash in it. Her girlfriend's face was covered with open, bleeding cuts. Where Beca had just been kissing on Chloe's neck was now covered in bruises. Chloe looked at Beca with tears in her eyes.

"Why did you do this to me, Beca? Why did you want to hurt me?" She asked this time with pain and anger in her voice.

Beca was paralyzed. She couldn't move. She couldn't speak. She wanted to apologize, to hold Chloe in her arms, but she couldn't will herself to do anything but sit there, frozen and terrified, staring at her injured girlfriend. She felt tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Chloe, I'm sorry!" She finally got herself to say. "I didn't mean for any of this to happen, I'm so sorry!" She was crying harder now as she saw how much pain Chloe was in.

"You did this." Chloe spit the words out just before closing her eyes. She wasn't moving.

Beca's heart felt like it was going to burst out of her chest. "Chloe, no!" she cried out as she tried to get Chloe to open her eyes. "Chloe, I'm so sorry, please don't leave me, I'm sorry!"

Beca jolted awake, her heart racing. She took a quick look around the room, momentarily forgetting where she was and what had happened. Her eyes landed on Chloe and she felt a new wave of guilt crash into her as she remembered the dream she just had. She closed her eyes as she tried to calm herself down. Once her heart rate was back to a relatively normal pace, she slowly opened her eyes and took a deep breath. She took another look around the room, this time more aware. She noticed one of her bags was sitting on the floor at the foot of Chloe's bed. She guessed Aubrey and Emily had dropped it off while she was sleeping. She felt bad that she had missed them and made a mental note to remember to apologize and thank them. She saw that is was almost 6 AM and rubbed her eyes. She didn't remember falling asleep but she estimated that she was out for a little over two hours.

She looked at Chloe and moved her chair closer to her head. Beca reached out and stroked Chloe's cheek with her thumb. She remembered what she said and her dream and, without thinking, repeated it.

"Please don't leave me, Chlo, please. I need you." She studied Chloe's face, wishing to get some kind of response from her. "I don't know if you can hear me or where you are right now behind those beautiful closed eyes of yours, but I'm right here, okay?" Tears welled up in Beca's eyes. "I'm right here, Chlo, all you have to do is hold on. Okay? Hold on for me. Fight for me. I'll never ask you for anything else, baby I promise, just please stay with me." With tears still falling, Beca leaned over and placed a kiss on Chloe's cheek.

Chloe thought she heard a voice. She didn't know where it was coming from or who it belonged to. All of her senses were dulled. The sounds were muffled, her vision was blurry, she couldn't quite figure out what she was smelling, and she thought she felt a gentle breeze hitting her. She didn't know where she was. She waited for her senses to correct themselves. When her vision came into focus she saw that she was in some beautiful garden. She had never been there before and didn't know how she got there. She was alone, though. The day was too perfect to be real, she thought. The colors were too vivid, the smells were too sweet. She felt like she was waking up from being hypnotized or from some kind of trance. What had happened? Where was she? She brought her hand up to her throat. It felt scratchy, like something was stuck in there choking her a little bit.

She heard a voice again. It was definitely a girl's, but she couldn't make out what it was saying or where it was coming from.

"Hello?" she called out to it, trying to understand what it was saying. She shut her eyes and forced herself to focus on what she was hearing.

It was starting to come into focus.

 _Hold on for me. Fight for me._

The voice was so familiar. Why were they asking this of her? Where were they? She was so confused. She heard the last bit of what the girl was saying.

 _Just please stay with me._

She suddenly recognized the voice.

"Beca?!" she called out, looking around and feeling frantic. Where was she?

Chloe looked around, but there was no sight of anyone else. She was definitely alone. How was she hearing Beca, then? Did she imagine it? No, she definitely heard it. What the hell was going on? Why couldn't Beca hear her?

Chloe pushed her hair back and held her hands on her head trying to remember what happened. For the first time she noticed how badly her head was hurting her. How badly a lot of her body was hurting her, actually. She made her way over to a bench that wasn't too far away and sat down.

She knew something had happened to her. She didn't remember what it was, but the way her body felt she had a feeling that something bad had happened. As she sat there, it hit her.

Am I dead?

No, she thought, she couldn't be. The fact that she heard Beca's voice told her she wasn't dead. If she wasn't dead, then this wasn't heaven. So, what was it, some kind of waiting place for heaven? That would mean she was dying, though. Was she dying?

The confusion made the pain Chloe's head intensify. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to make the pain go away, trying to remember something, to remember anything. But the pain worsened and before she knew it, everything went black.

 **A/N: What do you guys think? I wasn't sure about adding that last part with Chloe, so tell me if you liked it or not! Thanks so much for reading! The next chapter will be coming soon.**


	5. Chapter 5

A loud beeping coming from one of Chloe's monitors made Beca jump back away from her. A couple nurses came rushing in and immediately starting checking Chloe.

Beca stood up. "What's going on?" She watched them with a panicked look on her face. No one was giving her an answer, which caused more fear to rise in her. "What is going on?" She demanded.

One of the nurses turned to her and spoke in a calm, steady voice. "We're going to need you to step out of the room."

"What? No! Why?"

Another nurse came in, this time accompanied by Dr. Edwards. The same nurse that asked Beca to leave was now trying to lead her to the door.

"What is wrong? I'm not leaving her!" Beca protested. She felt like the beeping coming from Chloe's monitor was getting louder, but she knew it was just the panic in her. The nurse had gotten Beca close to the door.

"Beca, what's going on?" She turned and saw Aubrey standing in the doorway.

"We need you girls to step out." The nurse was speaking to Aubrey now. Aubrey looked between the nurse and Beca, who wasn't taking her eye off of Chloe. Aubrey nodded at the nurse and gently pulled Beca's arm, almost dragging her out of the room. The nurse closed the door and they couldn't see or hear what was going on anymore.

Beca turned to Aubrey, who could see the fear and worry all over her face. She looked Beca in the eye, trying to get her to calm down. "Tell me what happened." She used a steady voice.

"I don't know what happened!" Beca was frantic. "They won't tell me! She was fine and I was just sitting there with her and I don't know what happened. One of the machines started beeping and all the nurses came rushing in. They wouldn't tell me what was wrong. I don't know if it was something I did or-"

"Beca." Aubrey placed her hands on Beca's shoulders and waited for her to look her in the eye, trying to give her an anchor. "I'm sure you didn't do anything. Just take a deep breath, okay? They'll tell us what's going on when they have everything under control. Just breathe."

Beca closed her eyes and let out a shaky breath. She waited a moment before opening her eyes again and looking at Aubrey, who was still holding her shoulders. Beca nodded.

"Okay, then." Aubrey let go of her and took a step back.

Emily was approaching and noticed Beca and Aubrey waiting outside Chloe's room. She felt her stomach tighten and feared the worst had happened.

"Guy, what's going on? Why are you waiting out here?"

It was Aubrey who offered a response. "We're not sure. They wouldn't tell Beca, but I'm sure they'll be out soon to tell us."

Emily looked back and forth between Aubrey and Beca. Beca was leaning against the wall, her head tilted back and eyes closed. Aubrey gave Emily a look that said to leave Beca alone.

"What are you guys doing back here so early?" Beca asked without looking at either of them.

"Oh. Well, it was so late after everything that Aubrey just stayed with me and neither of us could really stay asleep so we just decided to come back here." Emily paused. "Did you get any sleep? Have you had anything to eat?"

Beca shook her head no in response, still not opening her eyes.

After a few moments, Dr. Edwards finally emerged from Chloe's room. All three girls stood straight and stared at him expectantly.

"Chloe's blood and oxygen flow to her brain were being threatened by a blood clot." All three girls held their breath as he spoke. "We gave her drugs to dissolve it, though." It felt like he was speaking slowly, as to make sure they understood what he was saying. "We believe we caught it early enough so we're hopeful it didn't cause any damage. Of course we won't know for sure until she wakes up."

"So is she okay?" Beca asked.

"She is." They all let out the breath they didn't even realize they were holding. "This is pretty common after taking a hit to the head like Chloe has. The next obstacle is her breathing tube."

The girls all gave him a confused look. Beca spoke up. "What are you talking about?"

He went on. "We're going to take it out now. If it stays in too long she could form an infection. We think she should be able to breathe on her own now."

"What if she can't, though? What will happen to her?" Emily asked without thinking over it first. She glanced over at Beca to make sure she didn't upset her.

Dr. Edwards nodded. "We prepare for these things. We'll have a team ready to take over if that happens."

Beca wanted to protest but she knew couldn't. She just had to hope that they really did have Chloe's best interests in mind.

"If you all would like to be in the room or not while we do this is entirely up to you, but keep in mind that there is a possibility it couldn't go smoothly."

Aubrey and Emily looked at Beca, leaving the decision up to her. She nodded. All three girls followed behind Dr. Edwards back into Chloe's room. They stood close together at the foot of Chloe's bed to watch. Beca had a pit in her stomach and could feel her heart beating in her chest. She hated feeling this way.

As they began removing the tube, all three girls felt their bodies tense up. Aubrey looked down, not wanting to watch. Once she off the ventilator the room was silent as they waited for Chloe's heart to start beating.

"Come on, Chlo." Beca whispered under her breath.

The tension could be felt in the room and the silence dragged out for what was starting to feel like too long. Beca's heart was racing and she was starting to feel like she was going to pass out. She closed her eyes and wanted to scream out. Just when she thought she was going to burst, the silence in the room was filled with a beep. Beca opened her eyes to make sure she hadn't imagined it. She looked at Chloe's heart monitor, which now had a steady beep and showed that Chloe's heart was beating.

Up until this moment, Beca hadn't let herself feel any hope. She knew too much could go wrong and hope was the last thing on her mind. The thought of letting herself feel any hope at all was almost amusing. But now she was feeling hopeful and it overwhelmed her. Tears quickly formed in her eyes and she began crying harder than she wanted to. For the first time, they were tears of relief. She tried to make herself stop, feeling slightly embarrassed, but she couldn't. Emily pulled her into a hug as the nurses made their way out of the room. When it was only Dr. Edwards left in the room, Emily let go of Beca so he could speak to them.

She wiped her tears and let out a small laugh at herself. "Sorry." She took a deep breath and cleared her throat. "I don't even know where that came from."

Emily and Aubrey smiled at her, both feeling the same relief that Beca was feeling.

After giving them a moment to collect themselves, Dr. Edwards spoke. "This is a huge step for Chloe. She still has a bit of an uphill battle, but your tears are definitely warranted. The next step for her is to wake up, which will hopefully be at some point today. We'll be back to check on her in a little while." He smiled before leaving the room.

After the night they all just had, they considered this to be a small victory and celebrated by hugging each other.

Beca went over to Chloe where she placed a soft kiss on her cheek and whispered in her ear, "I'm so proud of you, baby. Keep fighting."

* * *

When Chloe came to again, she was still in the garden. The sensation was odd, she thought. It didn't feel like waking up as much as it felt like gaining sudden consciousness out of nowhere. She still didn't know what had happened, though.

"Go over what you do know," she spoke to herself. "First, this place isn't real. It's some kind of dream or unconscious land you're stuck in. Something bad has happened to you. You're not dead, though. You heard Beca's voice before."

And that was it. That was the whole list. That was all she knew. It wasn't much to work with, but she didn't have much choice.

" _I'm so proud of you, baby. Keep fighting."_

The sudden company startled Chloe. She definitely heard Beca that time. She realized that it wasn't a voice that came from somewhere in the garden, but she heard it in her head. She questioned if she was making it up since she only heard it in her head, but it was Beca's voice for sure.

Chloe decided she didn't care what had happened to her. She knew something had happened and she knew she wasn't awake. But what she cared most about and what she knew for certain was that she needed to get back to Beca. The only problem was that she didn't know how to do this. She couldn't just will herself to gain consciousness and wake up.

So what was she supposed to do? Just sit here and wait for her body to wake up? That would drive her crazy. She scanned her eyes around the garden, looking for some kind of sign. For the first time, she thought to herself how beautiful the place was. If she was dying, she wouldn't mind going to a place like this. It was nice, peaceful. She shook her head. She was not dying.

What was it that Beca said? Something about being proud of her and to keep fighting. Why was she proud? Chloe knew she was unconscious so it wasn't like she could've actually accomplished anything. She wished she could talk to Beca, or to anyone for that matter. She didn't know what to do. Chloe was the type of person who liked to have a plan, who liked to know what steps she needed to take to reach a goal. She was usually pretty good at figuring those steps out on her own once she set her mind to a goal. Okay, so the clear goal here was to wake up. This wasn't exactly a type of situation she had been in before, though, so figuring the steps out on how to get there seemed nearly impossible, which frustrated the hell out of her.

* * *

Chloe had been breathing on her own for a couple hours now. Beca was sitting on one side of her and Aubrey on the other. Emily had gone to class and a couple of the Bellas had come and gone as the hours passed by. Beca was finally able to get some food in her system after Aubrey threatened to shove it down her throat.

"Seriously, Beca, you can go home. Shower, clean yourself up. I'll call you if anything happens."

"No way. If she wakes up and I'm not here I'll never forgive myself. I'm not risking that. Plus, I know you're just trying to get rid of me so you'll be the first person she sees." She smirked at Aubrey. They had been having this argument for the last ten minutes.

"Oh, I am not. Maybe I'm just tired of smelling you. Besides, do you really want the first time Chloe sees you to be while you're sleep and shower deprived?" Aubrey smirked back at Beca, mocking her.

Beca laughed and rolled her eyes. "She's known me for five years and we live together. Trust me, she's seen me look worse than this before."

"Hard to imagine it could get any worse than this," Aubrey mumbled keeping a smile on her face.

"You're such a bitch," Beca lightly laughed.

The mood had been much lighter as they let the fact that Chloe was actually recovering sink in. Different nurses had been in and out of the room, double checking that everything was still okay and they always had good things to say. Beca wasn't sure if they were just trying to be nice but she chose to ignore that and believe that things really were going well.

* * *

There was no sense of time for Chloe. She didn't know how long she had been sitting there, basically waiting for something to happen. What she did know was that she was feeling weak. She was feeling extremely weak and she didn't know why. Was she getting worse? She wished she knew what was going on in the real world.

She felt like she didn't have much time left in this place, though. As weak as she felt, she assumed that it meant something was happening. And she knew there were only two things that could happen. She could either wake up in the real world or she could die and wake up in heaven or not at all in any world.

The fact that she felt so weak scared her. She was almost sure that it meant the latter. That it meant she was finally dying.

Her eyes felt heavy and tried not to close them. Fear rose in her. If she closed her eyes, she knew she might not ever open them again and she wasn't ready to die.

* * *

A couple more hours had passed by and Aubrey was now napping in the seat she was in on the other side of Chloe. Beca was staring at Chloe's closed eyes, realizing just how much she missed looking into them. She realized how much she was missing Chloe's voice and smile and laugh.

She moved closer to her and spoke quietly, not wanting to wake Aubrey.

"Hey, Chlo." Her voice was soft. "I miss you. We never go this long without talking." She smiled a little to herself. "Do me a favor, okay? I need you to open your eyes. Everything is going to be okay. Just open your eyes and come back to me."

* * *

Chloe heard a voice trying to tell her to do something. She was too tired to make herself focus on what it was saying.

She was feeling weaker with every passing moment and was eventually too tired to fight it.

"I'm sorry, Beca." She whispered.

And with fear in her heart, she finally closed her eyes.

* * *

Beca sighed, leaning back in her chair. She took Chloe's hand in hers and kissed it. She rested her head on the side of Chloe's bed and closed her eyes.

* * *

It was so bright. Chloe tried opening her eyes but it was too bright and she couldn't get them to adjust. She waited a moment before opening them a little bit, giving them more time to adjust.

 _I must be dead_ , she thought.

It was then that she noticed how dry her mouth was and how sore her throat was. And the pain that the rest of her body felt. She realized you probably don't feel pain once you die and forced her eyes all the way open. She lay still until her vision came into focus. She was too scared to move, but she thought she felt someone holding her hand.

She tried to talk, but it came out as more of a scratchy whisper. "Becs?"

 **A/N: I hope you guys are liking it! Let me know what you think! And thank you so much for the reviews, follows, and favorites! You guys are the best**


	6. Chapter 6

Beca was starting to doze off, but thought she heard something. "Hm?" She responded, assuming it was Aubrey.

She felt her hand being lightly squeezed. That definitely was not Aubrey. She opened her eyes and quickly picked her head up. She looked at Chloe and saw that her eyes were open.

"Chloe?" She spoke softly, standing up so she could see her. Chloe's eyes locked on Beca's, which were now holding back tears. "Oh my God. Hi, beautiful." She leaned in and kissed her cheek, letting her tears fall.

Chloe gave Beca a soft smile, which turned into a bit of a grimace from the pain it caused. She tried to clear her throat and swallowed before speaking. "Hi," she whispered. "What happened?"

Beca wiped the tears off her cheeks and picked up a cup of water. She held it to Chloe's mouth, allowing her to drink from a straw.

"Everything is okay. You were in an accident, baby." As she said this, a pang of guilt ripped through her stomach causing her to divert her eyes from Chloe's. "Aubrey, wake up!" She reached over and nudged her.

Aubrey jumped awake, startled by Beca's abruptness. "What's wrong?" She asked without taking in the scene in front of her. She quickly noticed Chloe though and stood up, a smile spreading across her face.

"Oh my god, Chlo. Welcome back." She looked at Beca. "I'm gonna go get her doctor." She said before turning and leaving the room.

Chloe closed her eyes. She was of course happy to be alive but she was in a lot more pain than she expected. Beca said she was in an accident and as she thought back and tried to remember, it all came flooding back. As soon as she remembered, she wished she hadn't. With the memory of the accident came the memory of the fear that shot through her as she saw the truck coming at her and the way her body froze, not letting her react and the pain she felt as her car folded into her. She looked at Beca with tear-filled eyes.

The way Chloe was looking at her broke Beca's heart. She felt a pit in her stomach. She could see the pain and fear and sadness that Chloe must be feeling. She opened her mouth to say something, but before she could Aubrey came back in with Dr. Edwards and a nurse. Beca was grateful for the interruption since she didn't know what to say to Chloe anyway. She gave Chloe's hand a gentle, reassuring squeeze before taking a step back to get out of the way.

She stood next to Aubrey as they watched Chloe get examined. Dr. Edwards asked her simple questions like if she could tell him her name, where she was, what year it was. They had her wiggle her toes and squeeze his finger. Chloe was able to answer all the questions and perform the simple tasks, which visibly pleased and impressed Dr. Edwards. He began to explain to her a little bit about her injuries, but they could all see that she was starting to get upset. Beca moved back over to Chloe's side and held her hand.

"We'll let you rest for a little while, Chloe." Dr. Edwards concluded, not wanting to push Chloe any further. He looked at Beca. "I'd like to speak to you in the hall."

Beca nodded and gave Chloe a reassuring smile before following him out of Chloe's room. Aubrey joined them.

"I know it's very exciting that she's awake and she seems to be doing remarkably well, but we don't want to push her. She's experienced something very traumatic and although her brain seems physically fine, there could be some psychological problems. There's no way to predict how she's going to handle all of this. The memory could make her angry, scared, depressed, or any combination of feelings. She might want to act like it never happened and not talk about it. The injuries themselves can cause a whole other psychological factor. She's not going to be able to do the very simplest of tasks on her own for awhile and that can be very frustrating and discouraging to some people. I just want you and your friends to be prepared for all of this and to remember to let her cope however she may need."

A lot of this had never occurred to Beca. She was so focused and worried about Chloe just surviving and waking up that she hadn't thought about the months of struggling that Chloe had ahead of her or the emotional toll that this would take on her. The thought of Chloe having to go through all of this was heart wrenching. But Beca decided right then that she would do anything and everything to help Chloe get better.

She took a deep breath and nodded at Dr. Edwards. "Thank you."

He nodded and turned, leaving them be.

Aubrey turned to Beca. "I'm gonna go outside to call every one and let them know she's awake."

Beca watched as Aubrey walked off. She turned to Chloe's room and suddenly felt nervous, although she wasn't sure why. She shook it off, knowing she had to be strong for Chloe. She walked back into Chloe's room just as the nurse was walking out. They had put her in a position so that she was now slightly sitting up. Beca went and sat by her side, offering her a soft smile.

She realized she didn't really know what to say. She didn't want to say the wrong thing, but she didn't know what the right thing was either. She felt stupid for feeling this way. This was Chloe. She should be able to say anything. But Chloe looked so fragile that Beca felt like a couple of the wrong words would shatter her.

"Is there anything you want me to do for you? Do you need anything?" she offered. _What a stupid thing to ask_ , she quickly thought to herself. _There isn't anything I can do for her, why would you ask that_ , she reprimanded herself.

Chloe could see that Beca looked like she was almost uncomfortable, which made her feel guilty. She was so sorry that she put Beca through all of this and the last thing she wanted was for Beca to feel weird around her.

She reached out for Beca's hand and Beca took it. Chloe tried to give her the best smile she could. "No thank you baby. I'm just a little tired. Are you okay, though?"

Chloe was lying in a hospital bed with about half of her body broken and she was worrying about Beca? Beca could not feel worse about herself right now. She considered telling Chloe how guilty she felt about everything and how sorry she was, but Chloe hadn't even been awake for an hour yet. She didn't want to upset her. And as selfish as it was, she wanted a little bit of time with Chloe before telling her it was Beca's fault she was in here and having her probably hate Beca as much as she hated herself right now.

She tried to mask all of these thoughts, though, and smiled at her girlfriend. "I'm fine, Chlo. Now that you're awake and I can look into those bright, beautiful eyes of yours, I'm great. I just missed you."

Both girls sat quietly for a moment staring at each other and it almost felt like they were sizing each other up. There was a feeling of tension between them that had never been there before. It was obvious to the both of them that the other had something on their mind, but neither wanted to say anything about whatever it was.

Beca tried to approach the topic carefully. "Do you want to talk about what happened? Are you ready or is there something else on your mind?" She saw Chloe look away and quickly added, "Or we don't have to talk about anything, Chlo. Do you just want to try to sleep?"

Chloe was tired, but Beca deserved to know what happened. After everything Chloe put her through, she deserved at least that.

"No," she said quietly, barely audible. "No. We can talk about it." This she said louder.

Beca nodded, suddenly feeling nervous again. She didn't want to push Chloe, but she ignored the knot in her stomach. "Okay, baby. What happened?"

Chloe didn't really know where to start, but she took a deep breath and let the words fall out. "Well, I guess you know by now that I was at home when we were talking," Beca nodded, trying not to show the guilt she was feeling. Chloe went on, "after you hung up I felt so bad for upsetting you and I was worried about you so I left to go find you and make it up to you. But I eventually found out that you had gone home and I was pulled over on the side of the road. I went to turn around to head back home and I don't know." Chloe felt anxiety and panic rising in her. "I guess I didn't look before pulling out, I don't know why or what I was doing, but I didn't see the truck coming until it was too late. I didn't have time to react or get out of the way, my body wouldn't let me. I just tensed up and froze and it felt like everything happened in slow motion. It felt like I was just sitting there, waiting to be hit. And then you flashed into my mind and what this was going to do to you and I felt so sorry." She was looking forward, staring at the wall as she spoke and tears had started to roll down her cheek. "I thought that would be it, that's how I was going to die. I remember the impact. I remember thinking that I must have been ripped in half or something because of how much it hurt. The last thing I remember thinking was how sorry I was for leaving you like this and that you were going to hate me for it. Then I remember the car starting to flip and I think I hit my head and I must've passed out."

Chloe's hand was shaking in Beca's. Both girls had tears streaming down their faces. Watching Chloe tell what happened to her, hearing the fearful thoughts that ran through her mind and seeing her break down like this was all too much for Beca.

"Chloe, I'm so sorry." She broke down. She didn't want to upset Chloe anymore than she already was, but the guilt was eating her alive. She started to cry harder as she apologized. "This is all my fault. I shouldn't have gotten so upset with you, I shouldn't have said what I said, I shouldn't have hung up on you. I should've just listened to you but instead I was a stupid bitch. If I wasn't so selfish you wouldn't have left home and none of this would have ever happened to you. I'm so sorry, baby, I wish I could trade places with you or do something to fix this. I never meant for any of this to happen. I'm so sorry." She was having trouble breathing now from how hard she was sobbing. She felt like shit. She was so weak. She needed to be strong for Chloe, but here she was having a break down right in front of her.

It took Chloe a moment to process everything Beca had just said. Beca blaming herself was the last thing she expected. The sight of Beca being so distraught broke Chloe's heart. She had never seen her this upset before and it hurt her so much knowing that she was the cause.

"Beca, no." Chloe squeezed Beca's hand. She hated that this was all she could do to try to comfort her. "Baby, stop. Look at me, Bec." She was speaking softly, but firmly with a few tears still rolling down her cheeks. She waited for Beca to calm down a little and look at her. "None of this is your fault, okay? If anything, it's mine and I'm so sorry for putting you through this. But please don't blame yourself, baby, because I don't, okay? You thinking this is your fault and seeing you like this causes me so much more pain than any of this ever could." She looked at her body as she said this, then back at Beca. "I promise you that you have no reason to blame yourself. No reason at all."

Beca knew Chloe was being sincere and meant what she was saying. Still, Beca couldn't help but to feel guilty about everything and deep down, she knew she always would. Regardless, she nodded her head. She waited until she had gotten her crying to stop and breathing under control.

"I'm just sorry." She paused. "About everything."

"Don't be," Chloe gently said before giving Beca a small, sweet smile. "And I was wrong before. There actually is something you can do for me."

Beca nodded and looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to go on.

"Give me a kiss."

Beca couldn't help the smile that spread across her face. "Of course."

She leaned in and softly pressed her lips to Chloe's. As she did this and their lips connected, everything felt momentarily back to normal for both of them. The stress, the pain, the worry, the fear, the crying of the last 24 hours disappeared and for the first time since receiving that phone call, Beca felt at peace. She wanted to press in harder, but was too scared it would hurt Chloe. Chloe obviously wasn't worried about this, though, and took the initiative to deepen the kiss, pressing her lips a little more forcefully into Beca's.

"Alright that's enough of that, you two." Aubrey was at the door, snapping her fingers at them.

Beca smiled against Chloe's lips and added another peck before slowly pulling away and sitting back.

"Chloe needs to rest." She added, now stepping into the room. She had grown a lot over the years, but she still had a tendency to be a bit bossy. By now, they were all used to it and had grown to love it about her even if they teased her about it sometimes.

Chloe smiled at her. "I was just getting to that, Brey. No need to get all Mama Bear on us."

"Well, someone has to." She said defensively, but joking. She smiled at her best friend. "We missed you. Now, seriously. Sleep."

Beca kissed Chloe's hand. "She's right, babe. I'll be right here."

"Fine, fine." Chloe didn't actually need any convincing to get her to go to sleep. She was extremely exhausted in every way possible.

She closed her eyes and within moments, she was asleep.

 **A/N: Hey, guys! So I know this was a relatively uneventful chapter but I felt like it needed to be included in order to tell the whole story. So, I'm sorry if some of you found it boring. But yay that Chloe is awake! Finally some good news. The reviews are awesome, so thank you all so much for taking the time! Stay tuned for Ch. 7, coming soon!**


	7. Chapter 7

When Chloe woke up again, she thought she felt worse than before. She looked over and saw Beca asleep in the chair next to her bed. There was no one else in the room and Chloe wasn't sure how long she had been asleep, but she felt like it had been awhile. She watched Beca sleep for a little bit, focusing on the steady rise and fall of her chest. She knew her girlfriend must have been exhausted and was glad she was able to rest now. But as Chloe lay there, she was sure that she felt much worse than she did earlier and she worried something was wrong. Her chest felt tighter like it was harder to breathe, her skin felt cold and sweaty, and she was light-headed. As much as she hated to pull Beca out of her peaceful-looking sleep, she needed her to go get someone.

"Beca?" She said softly at first, but Beca was out cold. She spoke a little louder. "Beca. Babe, wake up." Still nothing and she was just out of Chloe's reach. Beca had always been a heavy sleeper, and Chloe didn't want to scare her but she had no choice. She spoke louder. "Beca!"

Beca's eyes instantly opened as she inhaled sharply and sat up. She blinked a few times looking at Chloe, who couldn't hide the slightly amused look on her face.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." She offered her a soft smile and reached out for her hand.

Beca smiled at her and took her hand. "Not scared. Just a little startled. Are you okay? Did you need something?" As she asked her this, Beca noticed the worried expression on Chloe's face and quickly realized she looked unwell.

Chloe saw the concern that had replaced Beca's initial smile. "I'm just not feeling great. It's probably nothing but can you go get a nurse or doctor or someone?"

Beca left the room in search of someone. Chloe tried to take a deep breath but it caused her to start coughing, which sent waves of pain through her body. Beca quickly returned with a nurse just as Chloe was getting her coughing to stop. Beca saw the look of pain on her girlfriend's face and returned to her side, taking her hand. She tried to give her a reassuring smile, but knew she wasn't hiding her worry very well.

Chloe told the nurse what was wrong. As she told her, both girls noticed a look of concern on the nurse's face, which only fueled both of their own worries. After examining Chloe, checking her monitors and fluids, the nurse told them she would be back with Dr. Edwards.

As soon as the nurse left, Chloe looked over at Beca. Beca could see that Chloe was scared and forced herself to stay calm. She leaned down and kissed Chloe's cheek. "Everything is going to be okay. Don't worry." She wasn't sure how convincing she was as she said this, but she gave Chloe's hand a gentle, reassuring squeeze.

The nurse returned with Dr. Edwards, who wore a friendly smile and greeted them. He rechecked everything the nurse had a few moments ago and tried to make small talk, but both girls just wanted to know what was going on and weren't concerned with trying to carry on a conversation.

Beca just wanted him to get to the point. "Is everything okay with her? Why is she feeling so much worse?"

Dr. Edwards took a moment to respond, as if searching for the right words. He looked at Chloe. "We need to run a few tests to be sure, but it looks like you're in the beginning stages of organ failure." He saw the fear written on both of the girls' faces and continued. "This is sometimes common after a trauma like yours, Chloe. The defense mechanisms in your body are basically in overdrive and causing more harm than good. You have a fever, which is most likely a symptom of pneumonia and it looks like your lungs and kidneys are beginning to fail. Like I said, we'll run some tests and we'll be starting you on more drugs."

Beca's heart was pounding as she listened to Dr. Edwards go into some of the specifics on what Chloe might expect to happen with her body. The one thing he was consistently failing to mention, though, was whether or not Chloe was going to be okay.

Chloe had been silent as she took in everything Dr. Edwards was saying up until this point. "You said this is common. How often do the drugs actually work? If they don't, then eventually my body will just self destruct, is what you're basically saying?" Her voice was steady, almost emotionless.

"That's one way to say it, yes. We're going to try to make you as comfortable as possible, though, Chloe." After this, he turned to the nurse and ordered some tests. She nodded and left the room. Before he left, Dr. Edwards turned to the girls. "Do you have any questions?"

They both shook their heads, although they had about a hundred questions each. They just didn't want to ask them in front of the other. Dr. Edwards nodded and left.

Both girls were silent for a moment. He said they were going to try to make Chloe _comfortable_. They both knew that was just a nice way of saying that it doesn't look good.

Beca finally spoke up. "You're going to be okay."

"Beca-" Chloe started.

"No." Beca didn't let her finish. She looked her in the eye. "No, okay? You're going to be fine, Chlo. You didn't come all this way to just.." She trailed off. She couldn't finish that sentence. She felt hot tears forming in her eyes and looked away, not wanting Chloe to see.

"All this way to just die?" Chloe was using a gentle voice, but those words made it feel like a knife had just been plunged into Beca's heart.

Beca did all she could to fight back her tears, but it wasn't enough. They were now rolling slowly down her cheeks and she shook her head, still not looking at Chloe.

Chloe didn't know why she felt so calm at the moment, maybe the news hadn't fully hit her yet or maybe she was in shock. Whatever it was, she knew things were about to get bad for both of them. Dr. Edwards made it clear that Chloe was going to get worse before she got better, if she ever did get better. And with the way she felt now, she couldn't even imagine feeling any worse. But for some reason, she wasn't worried about this right now. Her biggest concern was Beca. What do you say to someone who was just told that the person they're in love with has a good chance of dying? What's even harder, what do you say if you're that person?

"Baby, please look at me." She waited for Beca to look at her and when she did, Beca broke down.

Beca felt horrible for not being able to hold it together. She's not the one who might die, yet she's the one who's crying like a baby. She didn't want to make Chloe feel bad and tried to make herself stop, but this only made it worse. She had reached her breaking point and she couldn't control herself anymore. Her entire body was shaking and she covered her mouth with her hand that wasn't holding Chloe's, trying to muffle her sobs.

Chloe felt her heart sink as she watched the love of her life fall apart like this. She ignored the pain she was in and pulled Beca in towards her side. Beca tried to resist in fear of hurting Chloe, but Chloe wasn't taking no for an answer. Beca eventually gave in and Chloe wrapped her in a one-armed hug as she cried into her. Chloe felt tears forming in her eyes now. Seeing Beca this way was the most heart-breaking thing she's ever experienced.

They stayed embraced for a few moments until Beca eventually calmed down. She pulled back, sitting on the edge of Chloe's bed and wiped away her tears before looking at her. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to break down like this. I just… I don't know."

Chloe gave her a sad smile. She didn't even know what she would do if the roles were reversed. She couldn't imagine ever losing Beca. "Beca, you don't need to apologize. But," she paused, feeling hesitant to go on. "I need you to hear me out. You're not going to want to hear it, but I need you to."

Beca nodded. She felt like her heart was in her throat and she swallowed, trying to make the feeling go away.

Chloe took a deep breath. She knew what she wanted to say, but wasn't sure how to say it. "I don't know what's going to happen here. I don't think anyone does yet. But the way Dr. Edwards made it sound, it wasn't good. I'm probably going to get worse and he was talking about possibly sedating me and I don't know. I don't want to get worse and then not be able to say everything that I need to."

Beca wanted to stop her right there. She knew where this was going and it sure as hell sounded a lot like a goodbye. But she knew Chloe needed to say this for her own peace of mind, so she let her go on.

"I'm not saying something will happen to me, but if it does I just need to know that you're going to be okay, Becs. I need to know that you'll get past this and move on with your life. You're going to do such amazing things in this world, baby, and I don't want you to let this or anything else stop you from that. I love you so much, Beca." Both girls were now crying. "You're my favorite person in the whole world and my life is better every day because of you. I know this was never our plan and things were supposed to go so differently for us, but I feel so lucky to have had you at all. And I am so sorry that you have to go through all of this, baby. I'm so sorry that I'm the one bringing so much pain to you. But I need you to be strong, okay?" Chloe tried to smile through her tears. "I need you to be strong for me and to get through this. Okay? Because I will always love you and I will always be with you, whether it's right here by your side or not." Chloe took Beca's hand. "Tell me you can do that."

Beca wiped at the tears that were falling from her eyes. She knew if she opened her mouth she would break down all over again and was biting her lip to force her mouth to stay closed. She nodded her head, even though she knew she was lying. There was no way she would ever be able to make it without Chloe. Chloe pulled Beca back down to her side and wrapped her arm back around her.

"Thank you for letting me get all of that out." She was speaking quietly and rubbing Beca's back. "I love you."

"I love you, too." Beca's voice sounded small and sad, but she placed a soft kiss on Chloe's cheek before sitting up. She reached down and wiped the tears off of Chloe's cheeks as two nurses came in.

Beca stood up and took a step back from the bed. She watched as they began performing whatever tests they needed to on Chloe to confirm what they had already been told.

"I'll be right back, babe." Chloe nodded at her and she stepped out of the room.

Beca couldn't watch that anymore and realized she needed some air. She went outside and decided to call Emily. She needed a distraction from everything that had just happened.

When Emily answered, Beca opened her mouth to speak, but the only thing that ended up coming out was more tears. All she could think about was losing Chloe.

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 **A/N: What do you guys think is going to happen? I hope you liked it! Thank you for reading, following, favoring, and reviewing!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I'm sorry about the delay in updates! This week has just been more crazy than expected. So anyway, this chapter got way long so I've divided it into two! So this is the first part and Ch. 9 will be uploaded with it. That being said, I was having a difficult time finding a place to split the two, so if this chapter seems to end randomly/unexpectedly, I'm sorry! But it picks back up in Ch. 9 where this leaves off so it wasn't really meant to be an end of a chapter. Enjoy!**

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Beca cried to Emily for a couple minutes, the younger girl doing her best to soothe her.

"She basically just said goodbye to me, Em! What am I supposed to do with that? How the hell do I pretend everything is okay after that?" Her voice was full of anger and fear and sadness. And although she knew her questions were supposed to be rhetoric, she felt desperate for someone to tell her what to do.

Emily had no clue what to say, but she knew she had to say something. She came up with her words as she was saying them. "Maybe she didn't mean it so much as a goodbye?" She realized this sounded more like a question than a reassuring statement, but she went on. "Maybe she just wanted you to know those things." She paused, looking for the right words. "Look, as scary as it us for us to think about losing her, it has to be worse for her. We've never been in a situation where we didn't know what was going to happen to us like she's in, so we have no clue what she was thinking or how she was feeling. But she wanted you to hear those words because she loves you, Bec, and she just wanted to make sure you knew it. That doesn't mean she's giving up or saying goodbye to you."

Emily could hear Beca sniffling and knew she was trying to make herself stop crying.

Beca's voice was small. "You didn't see the look in her eyes. She looked so desperate, like if she didn't say what she needed to right then, she would never get the chance to."

Emily let out a small sigh. "Will you please let me come keep you company? I hate that you're trying to handle all of this on your own."

Beca wiped her tears. "No, you don't need to do that. Chloe is still awake in there and I just want to spend as much time with her as I can. Plus it's late, I'm sorry I even called you. I'll be fine."

Emily was quiet for a moment before speaking up. "Beca, I know Chloe needs everyone right now, but you do too. You're doing great being strong for her, but you don't have to be strong for everyone else." She found herself reminding Beca that it's okay to need other people pretty often.

Beca exhaled loudly, almost scoffing. "Strong? I don't exactly call having to leave her alone in her room to come cry outside 'being strong'. Or constantly breaking down right in front of her 'being strong'. I'm not strong, Em. At all."

"That's not true. You haven't left her side since this whole thing happened. She knows you're there for her and that she can rely on you, which is the most important thing you can do for her right now. Yeah, you guys have gotten some pretty tough blows in the last 24 hours but you're still standing, okay? You're handling it better than anyone I know ever could."

Beca stayed silent, a few tears rolling down her cheeks. Emily continued.

"It's okay to break down and be upset or scared or angry. You don't have to hold that in or try to hide it, Bec. It's okay to need a shoulder to cry on or to ask for some support of your own."

Beca sighed, closing her eyes. "I just feel bad. I feel selfish asking for help, like I'm asking for attention. Chloe is the one who needs all the help and attention, okay, not me."

"No one thinks you're asking for attention or being selfish, Beca. We all want to help you and Chloe both. You just have to let us."

Beca was quiet for a moment. "I know, I do, I know. I'm just weird about this stuff. I can't help but feel guilty. I don't know. But I need to get back in there. Thank you for being there, though, Em. Seriously."

"You don't need to thank me. I wish you'd let me do more. Promise you'll call if you want some company? Or if you need anything at all?"

Beca nodded, even though they were just talking on the phone. "Promise. I'll talk to you later."

They hung up and Emily knew that Beca wouldn't actually let her know if she needed her. She made a mental note to call in a few hours to check up on her.

Beca stopped by the bathroom on her way back to Chloe's room. As she splashed water on her face, she realized she would have to go home at some point to shower and clean herself up, although she really didn't want to leave Chloe's side. She put her hands on the sink and leaned against it, using it to support herself. She took a few breaths and told herself no more crying. Not in front of Chloe, at least.

"Everything is going to be fine. Get your shit together." She told her reflection before leaving and heading back to Chloe's room.

On her way back, Dr. Edwards stopped Beca in the hall. "How are you holding up, Beca? Are you doing okay?" He asked, seeming genuinely concerned.

Beca nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just needed a minute. But I'm good." She smiled, trying to be reassuring.

He smiled, although it was clearly written on his face that he knew she was having a hard time. "That's great. I know times like these can be hard on the family and friends of the patient, though, so make sure you're taking care of yourself. I know it's easy to forget about yourself and to just focus all of your energy on your loved one, but I've learned that the patient's health can depend on their support team's health. So if for no other reason, make sure you're okay for Chloe's sake. The hospital staff is on your guys' team if you need anything, okay?"

"Got it. Thanks." She used a polite tone, but realized the words might have come off in a jerk-ish way. She didn't mean for them to, so she smiled. "I really am fine. I'm going to go home in a bit to clean myself up and everything. Thanks, again Dr. Edwards."

Before walking into Chloe's room, Beca stopped and took one last deep breath. _No more breaking down. Chloe needs you._ She walked in and smiled at Chloe as she sat down beside her.

"Sorry about that, beautiful. Did I miss anything?"

Chloe tried to flash a smile back at Beca, but it took a lot more energy than it should have and was a weak smile. "It's fine, babe. Not really, they just started me on some more drugs. Is everything okay?"

Beca took Chloe's hand. "Oh, yeah, I just had to call Emily for something about work and then I stopped by the bathroom. Oh and bumped into Dr. Edwards in the hall and we talked for a minute."

"What did he say?"

Beca noticed how short and uneven Chloe's breathing was, but she did her best to ignore it. "Oh, uh," she shook her head, "nothing really. It was just small talk. Just being polite."

Beca smiled at Chloe, but Chloe couldn't help but think she was acting kind of weird.

Beca noticed Chloe eyeing her and continued. "So, anyway, these drugs, are they the good kind?"

Chloe ignored the quick change of subject and flashed another weak smile. "Unfortunately, no. Just your standard antibiotics and some other stuff whose names I don't remember."

Beca was studying Chloe's face, watching her talk more so than actually listening to what she was saying. "I love you so much." She blurted out, catching Chloe a little off guard.

She occasionally found herself feeling overwhelmed with how much love she felt for the redhead and couldn't stop the words from falling out. And after everything that had happened, emotions were running high and she wanted Chloe to hear these words.

Chloe loved when Beca did this and she squeezed her hand. "I love you too, baby." She reached over and rested her hand on Beca's cheek. "You know that, right?"

Beca placed her hand on Chloe's wrist and turned her head, kissing Chloe's palm. "Of course I do. You know what else I know?"

"Tell me."

"That you're going to be fine." Beca kissed her hand again. "And we're gonna get out of here and we'll go get married and have babies and it will all be fine."

Chloe couldn't help the surprised look on her face. Beca almost never spoke this way, especially without Chloe bringing it up first. She smiled at Beca with raised eyebrows and almost laughed a little.

"Married and babies, huh? That's some big talk, Mitchell."

Beca smiled and held Chloe's hand in hers. "Well, that's always been the plan hasn't it?"

Chloe loved hearing Beca talk about these things, even though she knew she was doing it to lighten the mood. "Well yeah duh, but I wasn't sure if you were actually aware of that. I was planning on just kind of sucking you into it."

Beca let out a small laugh. "You don't have to suck me into it, babe. I'm all in. I want it all with you, I always have." Beca noticed the slight look of shock on her girlfriend's face and shrugged. "I don't know. The fear of losing you came with a fear of losing our future. Everything I want with you has been flashing through my mind and I don't want to wait until it's too late."

Chloe was still smiling and studied Beca's face. "I'm all in too, babe. Always have been, always will be." She squeezed Beca's hand. "Now, how much sleep have you actually gotten?"

Beca laughed a little and rubbed her face. "I'm honestly not really sure. But I'm not just saying all this from a lack of sleep."

Chloe let out a small laugh. "You better not because I'm holding you to this." She coughed and waited a moment before speaking up again. "But I wish you would rest. Why don't you go home and get some sleep? I'll be okay here."

Beca played with Chloe's fingers, looking at them and shook her head. "I'm fine. I'm not really that tired." She felt Chloe staring at her, unconvinced. "But I am gonna go home at some point later today to shower and stuff."

Beca could see that this answer seemed to satisfy Chloe a little more. As she looked at her, though, she noticed how weak and exhausted her girlfriend looked. She knew Chloe needed some rest of her own.

"But hey, the sun won't be up for a little while so why don't you rest and I'll probably fall asleep too. I'm sure you'll have visitors in a couple hours so that's when I'll run home. Sound good?"

Chloe knew that Beca was suggesting this more for Chloe's sake than for her own, but she was grateful she didn't have to admit how tired she felt out loud.

"Sounds good, babe." She said, already closing her eyes.

Beca kissed Chloe's hand. "Love you."

Beca drifted in and out of a dreamless sleep for the following couple hours until she couldn't get herself to fall back asleep. She looked at her phone and saw that she had a missed call from Emily. She looked over at Chloe, who was still sleeping, and couldn't help but notice how bad of a condition she was in. It made Beca's stomach twist. She took a deep breath and stood, kissing Chloe's cheek before stepping out of her room.

She leaned back against the wall and called Emily back.

She answered almost immediately. "Hey Beca, is everything okay?"

"Yeah." She paused. "Is everything okay with you? I saw that you called."

"Oh, yeah. I was just calling to check in on you. How's Chloe doing?"

"Oh sorry, I fell asleep. I think she's okay. She's asleep right now but," she hesitated, not really sure what she wanted to say.

Emily picked up on Beca's uneasiness and there was a moment of silence before she spoke up. "I was thinking of coming up there to see her soon. Is that okay?"

Beca was staring at Chloe's door. "Yeah she'll be happy to see you. But just remember, Em, she looks worse than when you last saw her."

Emily wasn't really sure how that was possible, but she kept a confident voice. "I know. I'll see you guys soon."


	9. Chapter 9

Within the next hour, Emily was at the hospital. She brought Beca breakfast, but she only ate a small amount of it. With Chloe still sleeping, they sat on either side of her. They stayed quiet, not wanting to wake her. Emily let her eyes scan over Chloe. She didn't say it out loud but Chloe looked terrible. On top of all her injuries, her skin looked paler than before and her body somehow looked deflated and smaller, giving off the impression that Chloe was extremely fragile. It sounded and looked like she was having a difficult time breathing, her breaths so short and far apart Emily found herself beginning to worry between them if the next one was coming. She had to stop herself from taking nervous glances at Chloe's heart monitor. She didn't want Beca to see that she was worried, but it was too late.

"I know." Beca said quietly, catching Emily off guard. Beca had been watching the way she was looking at Chloe.

Emily gave Beca a sympathetic look, knowing that nothing she said could take away the fact that Chloe looked like she was withering away. "How did the rest of last night go? After we talked, I mean. Were you guys okay?" She was using a hushed tone too.

Beca shrugged. "It was fine." She stared at Chloe a moment to make sure she was still sleeping before confessing. "There wasn't any more crying but that's because I was pretty much pretending there was nothing wrong. I told her she would be fine and brought up the future because I knew it would help both of us feel better, but in the back of my mind.." Beca trailed off, shaking her head. "I don't know. I really do want to think positively and to tell her everything is going to be okay, but I mean," she gestured to Chloe. "How am I supposed to do that? How am I supposed to look her in the eye and tell her that I really believe everything will be okay?"

Being foolishly and naturally positive was normally Emily's thing, but even she was having a difficult time finding a way to feel optimistic. But she saw the way Beca was looking at her expectantly, like she was actually looking for advice instead of just voicing her thoughts. Emily bit down on her bottom lip and her eyes drifted over to Chloe.

"I don't know." She finally said. She looked back at Beca. "I don't know how you stay positive when you have every reason not to." She paused. "You just do. You tell yourself that everything will be okay until you actually believe it. You make yourself believe it so that when you look Chloe in the eye and say it to her, she'll be able to know that you believe it. Because that's all that really matters, that she believes you when you say it."

Beca felt tears forming in her eyes and she looked up, fighting them back. She shook her head and looked back at Emily. "What if she doesn't believe me? I don't even know what she's really thinking or feeling, Em, and she's not going to tell me the truth, not after how much I've cried right in front of her. Even if she was well aware that she was taking her last breath, she would still pretend like she felt alright just to try to spare my feelings." The few tears started to fall and she quickly wiped them away.

Emily stood up and moved over to the side Beca was on. She leaned down and wrapped her arms around Beca's shoulders, hugging her from behind. They stayed embraced in silence for a few moments until they heard Chloe quietly cough and begin to wake up. Emily let go, but stayed standing behind Beca. Beca turned away from Chloe and wiped any remaining wetness the tears had left on her face. She cleared her throat and turned back to face towards Chloe, reminding herself to smile. Chloe's eyes were still closed and Beca reached out, gently taking her hand to let her know she was there. It took Chloe a moment to fully open her eyes and when she did, Beca smiled at her.

"Hey, beautiful. Look who's here." She stroked her thumb on Chloe's hand.

Emily smiled at her. "How are you feeling?"

Chloe closed her eyes again for a second before opening them and speaking. "Like I've been hit by a truck." She saw the unsure looks on both Beca's and Emily's faces and she flashed them a weak smile. "It was a joke. Too soon?"

Both girls let out a small laugh, but it was directed more so at the fact that Chloe would even make a joke right now than at the actual joke itself.

"Maybe once you're actually out of the woods that joke will get a better response." Beca shook her head with a smile and kissed Chloe's hand.

"Got it." Chloe winked as she said this then smiled at Emily. "I'm alright. It's good to see you, though. What's up with you?"

Emily moved back to Chloe's other side, returning to her seat.

The three girls sat talking for about an hour. It was obvious that talking took a lot of energy for Chloe, so Emily and Beca took it upon themselves to carry most of the conversation. They all tried to keep the mood light and mainly steered clear of the elephant in the room.

Aubrey stopped by a little while later and joined them. The conversation was still being kept light and Beca decided now would be as good a time as any to run home. She turned to Chloe.

"Chlo, are you gonna be okay if a leave for a little bit to run home?"

"Yeah I'll be fine." They had been holding hands since she woke up and Chloe gave Beca's a gentle squeeze. She didn't want Beca to be alone, though. She knew her girlfriend was still shaken up, and even though Beca always insisted on being alone when she was upset, Chloe knew she always felt better with company. "I don't want you to be by yourself, though, babe."

Beca gave Chloe a gentle smile. "I won't be gone for long. Don't worry."

Emily looked between them and honestly agreed with Chloe. She didn't think Beca should be by herself either, especially since Beca flat out told her that she was faking being okay. "I can go with you if you want, Beca." She offered up.

Beca and Chloe both looked at Emily, and she smiled a little awkwardly at them. Chloe turned her look to Beca and waited for her to do the same. Once she did, Chloe looked at her with pleading eyes that Beca couldn't say no to.

She rolled her eyes, keeping a smile on her face. "Fine." She planted a kiss on Chloe's cheek. "I'll see you soon, okay?" She locked her eyes on Chloe's as she said this. They both knew what she meant.

Chloe gave Beca a reassuring smile. "I'll be here, babe. I love you."

Beca nodded and kissed her cheek one last time. "I love you, too." She stood up. "Let's go, kid. See you in a bit, Aubrey."

Chloe caught Emily's eye before she walked out behind Beca and mouthed a 'thank you'. Emily smiled and nodded at her before she disappeared with Beca.

Aubrey opened her mouth to say something, but Chloe held a finger up to stop her and began coughing. She was coughing hard and Aubrey could see that it was causing her pain, but she didn't know what to do.

"Do you want me to go get someone?"

Chloe shook her head. She coughed for a few moments then laid back with her eyes closed, trying to catch her breath.

"Chlo.." Aubrey started.

"I'm fine." She finally caught her breath as best as she could but when she opened her eyes, she had tears in them.

"Chloe.." Aubrey tried again, but Chloe broke down crying. Aubrey took her hand, having no other way to comfort her. "Chlo, talk to me. What's wrong? Do you need a nurse?"

She shook her head. "Everything hurts." This was all she could get out. Her body was shaking now, which only caused more pain. She let out a couple sobs before continuing. "It hurts so bad, Brey, and I'm scared."

Aubrey's heart was breaking. Chloe's break down surprised her, she seemed okay two minutes ago. She gently squeezed her hand.

"Chloe, they can give you medicine to sedate you. You don't have to be in pain, it's okay."

Chloe shook her head again, trying to stop crying. "I don't want to be sedated."

Aubrey tried to get Chloe's eyes to meet hers. "Why, Chlo? You would be out of pain and-"

"Because what if I'm dying?" She said this with some anger in her voice and finally met Aubrey's eyes. "What if I'm dying and the last hours I spend of my life are being sedated and asleep?"

Aubrey wasn't expecting that answer and as she sat there, looking into Chloe's tear-filled eyes, she didn't know what to say. She couldn't argue with her. They didn't know what was going to happen and she had a fair point of not wanting to spend her possibly last hours drugged and unconscious. For a brief moment, Aubrey thought of saying that maybe being unconscious would be better than possibly suffering, but it was a brief thought and she would never let it come out of her mouth.

Chloe shut her eyes and laid her head back, tears still falling from her eyes.

"Beca has no idea you feel this way, does she?" Aubrey's voice was gentle.

"No." Chloe said quietly. She opened her eyes and looked at Aubrey. "And she doesn't need to know. I don't want to scare her and she already blames herself, I don't want her feeling any worse about any of this."

Aubrey knew this was Chloe's way of telling her to keep her mouth shut and she sighed, giving Chloe a sad look. "Chlo, she's already scared. I really think you should talk to her about this. It could help both of you feel better to know where the others' head is at."

Chloe wiped her tears and closed her eyes again. "If I tell her, she's going to be worried and scared and sad, Aubrey. And if I'm dying, I don't want my last hours with Beca to be full of worry and fear and sadness. Even if she already knows I'm not okay, she's acting like she doesn't and at least trying to be happy."

Aubrey was silent for a second. "I won't say anything."

"Thank you."

"But, I still think you should."

* * *

It wasn't a far drive from the hospital to Beca and Chloe's apartment. Beca and Emily made it there fairly quickly. When they walked in, Beca stood in the doorway and hesitated for moment. It was the first she had been home since receiving the call about the accident and she remembered the surge of panic that had ran through her. She took a deep breath as she stepped in, trying to push the rising anxiety down. Emily was behind her.

"Oh, Aubrey and I cleaned up most of the date stuff that was lying out when we came here when Chloe got out of surgery. I wasn't sure if that would be okay, but we didn't know what was going to happen and we just thought coming home to that would be too much, but-"

"No." Beca cut her off. "No, it's okay. Thank you for doing that." She shook her head, closing the door. "God, that fight feels like it was a lifetime ago." Emily shot Beca a sideways glance and Beca closed her eyes, realizing her error. "Poor choice of words. Sorry."

Emily shook her head and gave a small smile. "Just making sure you're okay."

Beca gave an affirmative nod. "I'm fine. I'm going to jump in the shower, though." She disappeared into the bedroom, closing the door behind her.

Emily had been to Beca and Chloe's place more than enough times to feel comfortable and make herself at home. She wandered into their living room and lay down on the couch. She didn't have her journal, so she used her phone to jot down some lyrics in.

Beca didn't take a long shower, although as good as it felt, she could have stayed in there forever. But she wanted to get back to Chloe, so she showered and dressed quickly. The bag that Emily and Aubrey had packed held her over until now and she was gathering a few more things to bring to the hospital. She emerged from her room.

"That was fast." Emily sat up and looked at her. "Are you sure you don't want to go try to nap? Aubrey is with Chloe. She'll call if anything changes. You look exhausted."

Beca was putting her wet hair up in a bun. "That's because I am exhausted. As hell. But I wouldn't be able to get myself to fall asleep here anyway."

Emily sighed and nodded her head, showing she understood. Sleeping in a bed without the person you normally share it with because they're in the hospital fighting for their life wasn't exactly an easy situation. "Well, do you wanna go to the Bella house? You can try to nap in my bed there. You're going to have to sleep in a bed somewhere at some point."

Beca knew Emily had a point but she shook her head. "Not while Chloe isn't in the clear. I do know I can't spend 24/7 at the hospital with her, but too much could still happen for me to waste time napping. When she's out of the woods, I'll figure out a way to sleep in there." She tilted her head toward her and Chloe's room. "I'll cross that bridge when we get there. Now, can we go?"

As they were leaving, Emily was just realizing that Chloe was probably going to spend weeks or maybe months in the hospital, which meant Beca was probably going to have to spend some nights alone. She decided she would offer to stay with her whenever those nights came up.

* * *

Back at the hospital, Aubrey was growing more and more worried about Chloe. She couldn't even begin to imagine the way Chloe was feeling, but she could see it must be horrible. Every couple seconds or so Chloe's face would contort, clearly showing whenever the pain got worse. A few tears would occasionally form in Chloe's eyes and fall down her cheek and at this point, Aubrey didn't know if the tears were caused by the pain Chloe was in or the fear she was feeling or even from anger. She couldn't believe her best friend was able to hold all of this in when Beca was there.

Emily had texted Aubrey to tell her they were on their way back. "Chlo, they're on their way back. Are you sure you don't just want to tell Beca how you feel?"

Chloe took a deep breath and shook her head. "I'm sure. I just need a minute."

"Okay. I'll be right outside."

Aubrey stepped out of Chloe's room. She brought her hands up to her head and pushed her hair back. She knew Chloe didn't want to be sedated or for Beca to know how she really felt, but how could Aubrey sit there knowing how much pain Chloe was in and do nothing? _A good friend would do something_ , she told herself. _It's the right thing to do._ She didn't want Chloe to hate her, but if it was between sitting there silently suffering in pain while pretending everything was okay or being mad at Aubrey, it seemed like a clear choice. Aubrey respected Chloe's reasons for feeling the way she did about the situation, but she didn't agree with them. Beca at least deserved to know what was really going on. Aubrey had to tell her. Maybe she was being selfish and just didn't want the secret to be on her hands if something were to happen to Chloe, but either way she had to tell her. She called Emily.

"Hey, is Chloe okay?" Emily and Beca both felt their stomachs drop when they saw Aubrey was calling them.

Aubrey sighed. "She's fine. I need to talk to Beca."

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry again for the wait! Thank you guys for being patient and for reading. Thank you for the reviews, follows, and favs too! I hope you enjoyed!**


	10. Chapter 10

"Aubrey, is everything okay?" Beca was now the one on the other end of the line.

Aubrey hesitated. She didn't want to betray Chloe and she really had no way of knowing how Chloe was truly feeling, but Chloe was worried about dying so she knew it was serious. But if she was actually dying, did Aubrey really want Chloe's last feelings toward her to be betrayal and anger? _It's for her own good._ She told herself, but she still had doubts.

"Aubrey?" She could hear the worry rising in Beca's voice.

She closed her eyes. "Everything is fine, Beca. Don't worry."

"Okay," Beca paused, expecting Aubrey to continue but spoke again when she realized Aubrey wasn't going to. "So, why did you call? Do you need us to get you something?"

"No. I just," she opened her eyes again and looked toward Chloe's door. "I'm just worried about her. I think she feels worse than she's letting on."

"What do you mean? What's she doing?"

"I don't know I guess it's just feeling. She'll, like, make a face that looks like she's in pain, I don't know. But I think you should try to talk to her about it."

Beca wasn't convinced she was getting the full story, but she didn't question her. "Yeah, okay. We'll be there soon and I'll talk to her."

They said goodbye and hung up. She hadn't told Beca everything she needed to know, but she hoped that she set her on the right path and that she would be able to get Chloe to tell her herself. Except now instead of feeling guilty for betraying Chloe, she also felt guilty about lying to Beca. She shook her head and pushed her guilt back down before heading back in to Chloe's room.

She smiled at Chloe. "You good, Chlo? They're almost here."

Chloe nodded and smiled, which Aubrey could now easily tell was forced. She didn't say anything, though. Instead, she took her place next to Chloe's bed. They made small talk about nothing until Beca and Emily got back.

When they walked into her room, Chloe smiled at them. "Hey. That was pretty quick. You didn't have to rush, I'm not going anywhere."

Beca shot a quick glance over at Aubrey before smiling at Chloe. "I know, but it was either sit at home or sit here, so you know." She walked over and kissed Chloe's cheek.

Chloe held Beca's wrist, keeping her close to her face. "You look cute," she said with a more genuine smile and planted a light kiss on Beca's lips before letting go of her.

Beca rolled her eyes, keeping her smile and sat down. Chloe always did like when Beca dressed down the way she was now in her sweats and messy bun.

"Thanks, babe. How are you doing?" She took Chloe's hand in hers.

Chloe could feel Aubrey staring a hole in her and avoided looking her way. "I'm fine, baby."

Beca studied Chloe's face. "Okay," she paused, glancing over at Aubrey once more. "Are you sure?"

Chloe shot Aubrey a look out of the corner of her eye. Aubrey turned to Emily, "I have to run to the bathroom. Will you come with me?"

Beca had told Emily what Aubrey said on the phone, so Emily knew what Aubrey was now doing. She felt uncomfortable with the sudden tension in the room and was grateful Aubrey had offered an escape. "Yeah, definitely."

As they were walking out, it was now Aubrey that could feel Chloe glaring at her. After they left, Beca turned her attention back to Chloe and looked at her with eyebrows slightly raised, waiting for an answer.

Chloe sighed. "Bec, I'm fine. What do you mean 'am I sure'? Did Aubrey say something to you?"

Beca shook her head and shrugged. "No, not really. She just said she was worried about you. She wanted me to make sure that you were okay."

"Well, I am." There was some slight annoyance in Chloe's voice and she laid back, staring up at the ceiling.

Beca watched her for a moment and considered dropping the subject, but now she was a little more worried. "Why, what would Aubrey have said? Did you tell her something you're not telling me?"

Chloe closed her eyes, all of the emotions she had been feeling slowly forming into anger. She was angry that she was even in this situation in the first place, that she couldn't even move without feeling excruciating pain, that she might be dying, that she let Aubrey know how she was really feeling, that Aubrey said something to Beca, and that she was even having this conversation.

"Beca, drop it. I told you I'm fine." She kept her eyes closed.

Beca knew Chloe was getting irritated and obviously didn't want to tell her whatever it was that was going on. She didn't want to push her or force her into anything, but she also couldn't drop it.

"I know, babe. I know. It's just you can tell me if you're not. And it's okay to not be okay. I'm here for you and," she fell silent when she noticed Chloe biting down on the inside of her bottom lip and she knew it was either because she was mad and trying to keep from saying something she would probably regret or she was trying not to cry, or both. Either way, Beca felt bad. "I just want you to know you can talk to me. That's all, babe."

"There's nothing to talk about, oh my god." Frustrated, she opened her eyes and looked at Beca. "If I had something I wanted to tell you, I would, but I don't. So please just stop."

Beca knew she was lying and as much as she didn't want to make her girlfriend upset right now, there was something obviously wrong. She stared at Chloe, trying to think of how to respond without causing Chloe to start yelling.

She used a calm voice. "Okay, Chlo. I'll drop it. I'll drop it if you can just tell me one thing."

"Okay." Chloe said impatiently. "What?"

Beca looked into Chloe's eyes. "Tell me that if whatever is going on with you, was happening to me instead, you would be fine with not knowing. Tell me that if I was feeling whatever you are right now, that you would be able to sit here and be fine with not knowing."

Chloe stared at Beca for a moment before pulling her hand out of her girlfriend's and rubbing her head in frustration. Beca was watching her, waiting for a respone. Chloe shook her and looked away.

"Fine." She finally said with annoyance still in her voice and looked at Beca. "Okay, you want to know what it is? I think I'm dying. Okay? Are you happy now? I'm scared that I am dying, Beca, and I didn't want you to know. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

Beca stared at Chloe with her mouth slightly open, not sure how to respond. She didn't know what she was expecting Chloe to say, but it wasn't that. After a moment, she found her bearings and moved herself so she was sitting on the edge of Chloe's bed.

"Chloe," she sighed. "What makes you say that? Why didn't you want me to know?"

Chloe shook her head, looking at her girlfriend. "Because I feel horrible, Beca! I almost wish I actually was dead instead of feeling like this." Hot tears formed in her eyes. "Everything hurts so much and I just feel like there's no way this is ever going to end or get better. I didn't want to worry you even more."

"Babe, please don't hold back from telling me something because you're worried about how it will affect me, okay? I want to know everything that's going on with you." As she was saying this, Beca repositioned herself so that she was now sitting side by side with Chloe. She lifted her arm and let Chloe rest her head on her chest. Beca used a softer voice as she continued speaking. "I'm so sorry this happened to you, baby. I wish there was something I could do to take all the pain away. But, listen. One way or another, you're going to feel better in the end. The pain will end and you'll be okay."

"I'm scared, Bec." Chloe didn't look up at Beca, but Beca could feel the tears that were now falling from Chloe's eyes. "What if I'm dying?"

Beca closed her eyes, refusing to let any tears escape. She took a deep breath and made sure she was composed before opening her eyes again. "Then the pain will stop and you will still be okay. Whatever happens, you're going to be okay, Chlo. But I don't think you're dying, alright? I think all the pain you're feeling right now is your body fighting like hell to keep going." She planted a gentle kiss on Chloe's head. "Everyone knows how stubborn and persistent Chloe Beale is when she's set on something and I think your body is set on fighting and staying alive. Right? That's what I'm choosing to believe. Don't be scared, baby."

Chloe stayed silent and closed her eyes, gently crying into Beca's chest. Aubrey poked her head and caught Beca's eye. She mouthed "we'll be out here" and Beca gave a quick nod in response.

After a few minutes, Chloe broke the silence. "I'm sorry I was trying to keep this from you."

"You don't have to apologize." Beca kissed Chloe's head. "Thank you for telling me, though. I'm sorry that I pushed you so much."

Chloe opened her eyes and looked up at Beca. "It's okay, babe. I would've done the same thing."

Beca smiled at her. "Trust me. I know." She gently wiped away the wetness on Chloe's face from her tears. "Do you want me to talk to someone about your pain? I'm sure there's something they can do to help you."

Chloe bit her lip and rested her head back down on Beca's chest. She used a quiet voice. "Yeah, sedation."

"You don't want it?" Beca was a little confused.

"I don't know." Chloe's voice was still quiet. "It's just what if my last hours are spent sedated?"

"Oh." Now Beca understood. "Well just think of it this way. Would you rather spend them awake and suffering in pain or peacefully asleep?"

Chloe looked back up at Beca. "I just want to spend them with you."

Beca looked into Chloe's eyes for a moment before responding. "You will, beautiful. Whether you're awake or asleep, I'm going to be right here."

"What do you think I should do?"

Beca shook her head, still looking into Chloe's bright eyes. "It's not my choice, baby. It's completely up to you. All I know is that I hate that you're in so much pain. And like I said, I don't think you're dying. I don't think these are your last hours. I think your body is just trying to heal."

Chloe studied her girlfriend's face for a minute before nodding. "Okay."

"Okay." Beca said in return. "I'll go get someone."

She placed a soft kiss on Chloe's lips before getting up and leaving her room. Chloe lay there and closed her eyes. She tried to make herself believe that Beca was right about everything, that she was going to be okay.

Beca quickly returned with a nurse. She returned to Chloe's side and took her hand as the nurse explained to them how everything would work. Beca gave Chloe's hand a gentle, reassuring squeeze. After the nurse was done explaining, she administered the sedative through an IV. Once she left, Chloe turned to Beca with some fear in her eyes.

Beca gave her a gentle smile and nodded. "You're gonna be okay, baby. I'll be right here the whole time, alright? I promise." She leaned over and gave Chloe a soft, but passionate kiss. "I love you so much."

Chloe flashed a small, almost shy smile. "I love you too, Beca. Will you sit back up here until I fall asleep?"

"Of course." Beca took her place next to Chloe and gently put her arm back around her. She could tell that Chloe felt tense. "Just try to relax, Chlo. Close your eyes." She kissed the top of her head.

Chloe took a deep breath and obeyed. The sedative quickly kicked in and she was asleep in her girlfriend's arms.

Beca could feel that Chloe was asleep and she sat there holding her for a few extra minutes, hoping and praying that she was right and that she hadn't just had her last conversation with the love of her life.

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you all for your patience and for actually being interested in this story! You're all so amazing! I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Expect an update soon! I love all the reviews and favs, thank you!**


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